21.

It has been a weird stage being 21
It's a time of change
It's a time where I am at that point in my life where I am almost done with college
It is a transitional time
it's a time where I am beginning to see myself done with the University and I see the next step in my life starting to come into action...
it is a time a renewal
it is a Time where I am starting to look forward to the next steps in life that God has for me, It has been a time of discovering and falling more in love with the savior who died on the cross, it has been a time of giving myself in full service and submission to the savior who created this earth..NO it has not been easy it has been hard having faith and fully trusting God with everything going on...
This time has been a time of visions and dreams that can only come a loving savior...

The most interesting part of being 21 is that I have had this REALLY strong desire to get married.. but not only to be married but I am beginning to look forward to the relationship with that Godly man God has for me...God has begun to reveal to me what it is to be a wife and what that looks like within marriage... It is scary and exciting at the same time..I have been spending alot of time in prayer about this subject just praying for me and whomever this man is...

I want to be made new

This weekend has been one of the most challenging and hard weekends in a long time..it has been a very testing and I am fully beginning to understand what it means to FULLY rely on God...

The doctor himself said that the line they got in Anthony was a miracle and I truly believe that my God is still living and active performing miracles 2010 years later as he did a long time ago!! I am truly AMAZED I cannot help but lift my hands in praise Jesus!!

I am not saying that this has been easy it has been fully relying on God in a time where we had no idea what was going to happen to him.. I do not think that I have cried to hard in a LONG time...

Lately it feels as though God has called me to grow closer to him I have often found tine in my busy schedule to take time for Jesus and have a time where I am praying and getting into the word. It feels so good to feel close to Jesus and to fully rely on him, I don't know how I am awake and running around joyful but I believe that Jesus is giving me an unspeakable joy that is making me strong and carrying me through a time where I should not be joyful but I am...

Today was a BIG day for me! when I was 13 I was baptized and I feel as though I understood what I was doing back them but I did not do the full water Emerson and I have felt as though God was telling me that I needed to do it. after a long week of not sleeping and feeling as though I was Jacob wrestling with God, I contacted my pastor. So today I got baptized and let me tell it feels great to listen and obey Jesus, it is so amazing!! When the pastor asked me what I was doing I said "Yes, I did the first time but I need to do it right". It was a powerful experience and tonight I feel at peace in knowing that I have made that proclaiming in front of my church family.

The LORD is my strength and my shield;
my heart trusts in him, and I am helped.
My heart leaps for joy
and I will give thanks to him in song.
Psalm 28:7

wow..

I am at a lost for words...

somehow the doctors were able to get the Hickman line in that he needs in order to get the nutrition neccisary to get healthy...

it was coming down to if the doctors could not get this line in then we had no idea what was going to happen with sweet Anthony...

for the past two months the surgeons could not get this line in...
for for some reason God worked a mighty miracle because tonight....
Anthony has a central line that he needs right now...

2 months

It has been two months since Anthony went into the hospital...I would be lying if I said that I was not angry, mad, upset, lost for words, and just trying to make it through this time...it is ROUGH for sure..

he is one sick baby and to be honest he has not gotten any better in those two months, only worst...Today he is going into surgery to (HOPEFULLY) get a Hickman line in..it is REALLY crucial that he gets this line in not only for his health but he is in pain from being poked... THe surgeons have tried to get one in two other times before... hopefully the third times the charm!

It seems as if he starts to get better than he gets sick with something else, it is a really frustrating and daunting time.. My parents are TIRED and Weary of not being together and not knowing what is going on with their son.

Tonight or this morning I came home from ministry and I tried to sleep but I couldn't because I believe for the first time in two months it hit me what was going on. I was a mess trying to be fully present in the ministry while worrying and praying for my brother's current state of health...

Please pray for Sweet Anthony..

busy.

Baby Anthony has been in the hospital for the past 5 weeks and let me say it has been crazy at my house...so much has happened and continues to happen... I took today off from school so that I could rest and get caught up with my readings from school.. not to mention that we have all been busy!!

I seems like the weekends fly by and the week days go slower but still they fly by.... I just cannot wait until I am done with my classes this quarter!!! which is weird because I actually love my classes but I am looking forward to summer and warmer weather.... Seattle has been COLD and RAINY, it has been living up to its hype of being the rainy city...

well I should get back to reading!!! (I look forward to the days when I do not have to read but do it for fun)

-Please pray for Anthony that his body to be able to tolerate his feeds
-Mr, Feisty's adoption to start moving FASTER....

Get married, how to make it happen

One of the Blogs that I have followed for some time recommended a book titled "Get married, how to make it happen" by Candace waters. I usually don't go and buy books but It was cheap and the first pages I read where really insightful. this book changed my whole perception and thought about finding a future Husband and the quality's and expectations that I have.

before I read this book I had the idea of my "Perfect Husband", he was to have a college degree, church leader, love kids, love God, actively involved in ministry, want to adopt children in the future. in my mind this person was to be a person of perfection......my thought was that Education was important because I have worked so hard to get to the point and fought hard to earn my bachelors degree.

In so many ways I was wrong, yes he should love Jesus and want to be involved in ministry... but it is so much more than that...... one of the main points was was this,
Can we serve God better together than alone?

I had never thought of this but now I realize one of the main reason for being in a marriage is to love and be in relationship with each other, but the center of the marriage should be God.. together we should be able to serve God better than if we were alone..

Another point was that so many young women have these expectations that are so high that many women are finding themselves getting married later on in life (nothing wrong with that)... and then by the time they are 30 the marriage pool is so much smaller and in some sense all the "Good" men are already married. instead of having these expectations that are so high we should focus on two questions...

1, Would be a good Husband? -Could you see yourself honoring and respecting him
2, Would he be a good Father? - How does he act around/with kids

I thought this was important and I did not deep soul searching and realized that I have pushed guys away because I was focusing only on if they had an education or not... in reality I am glad that I am not together with him because I did not respect him or honor him.. I was 18..and it was my first boyfriend.. I have learned so much since then..

and of course I added:
3, Does he love God and want to serve him in his everyday life? -some kind of ministry, this is an important part of my life and I believe it always will some of this includes what does he believe in women leaders/pastors?)
I think that this is important because for one I am a women (Duh!!) but I don't want to be held back from the work/ministry God has called me to...
I do understand though that the man is the head of the house he is the leader and I need to submit myself to his authority and leadership..I get it.. but I would hope together we could work and pray for what God has planned for our lives...

I now realize that marriage is so much more than having an education I should not be asking myself, Does he have an education? but rather can I see myself honoring and respecting for how God created him? and if the answer is yes then the rest could be history..haha... In a sense that opened up so many more prospective future husbands by realizing that it is so much more than having an education...

this book I tell you is AMAZING!! I love it and in so many ways it has prepared me to get ready and to pray for my future husband as I wait.. I always told myself I would wait to get married until I graduated college and had a four year degree...well I am so much closer to having that degree and I think the "I want to get married" bug has hit me hard... as I realize that I am not getting any younger and friends are getting married all around me. does not make it any easier to wait..

In a Funk

To be honest I have been feeling down.. I am missing my brother and not knowing exactly what had been going on with him until today they finally started to treat him for GVHD after two weeks of being in the hospital... I am feeling down about serving with LNO and all the negativity I am receiving from others.... I miss EV I really do... My friends are having problems with their health and personal lives that it is weighing me down... I haven't been to church in 3 weeks because honestly I did not want to go but rather be at home and rest and be with mr, feisty's sister while she was here...also with church there was an issue and hurt feelings but thankfully I hope got resolved today in Gods timing not mine..I was just about to e-mail the person and ask that we meet together but I ran into her at wal-mart God's timing is better than my timing...not to mention starting spring quarter is not always easy with having a baby in the hospital... watching Mr, Fesity's sister leave has not been easy by any means.. all these situation are going on at once and I don't know how to process yet..

There is so much going on I feel like How can an amazing and grateful God use someone like me, broken and a mess.. it is so easy to act like everything is okay..but really it is not.. I cant hide that anymore.. I came to the conclusion that I am sick of myself... I am sick of my sinful human ways.... I am tired of only relying on my human strength because it has not gotten me far... I am sick of "Acting" like I am a super christian because honestly I am not...

I need to decrease so that he can increase in my life.

I need to spend more one on one time with God, I need to spend time before God and allow his word to meditate in my heart, to be honest I have not been doing that lately.. I love serving on LNO but it is hard to be out there and to see a reality of the lives that these precious women are living.. I want to cry out to God for the lives of these women and to see their lives transformed..

I went to a concert last Thursday and the lead singer of Mercy me was saying that it is so great that Jesus Loves us right where we are and accepts right where we are at.. such a simple message but powerful word.. I am so glad that I know a loving God that even in my mess and human ways he calls us his own...

At the concert was one of the new songs by Mercy me "All of Creation", it is an Amazing Song...and speaks to so much of what I am going through...

I get it..

"It doesn't matter who it is: You need to set them free and See how God can bring them back into your life."

It is so hard to let people go and see them move on. it was this time last year that I had to do just that. I wrote about this particular situation last year...Tonight I was on Facebook and I ran into a comment that someone posted.. and it stuck out to me... I immediately thought of EV.... I miss her but yet I have moved on and been healed by a loving and powerful God.It makes perfect sense...My human ways have caused me to loose one of my closest friends, my human ways of fighting and trying to communicate have failed... It is a reminder that God can do anything that my human mind is not capable of conceiving, if I choose to let go and see him work... it is that letting go and completely trusting God that someday this situation will be dealt with, that good will come out of this horrible ending to a friendship...

Randomness...

SO much has happened lately!! this is just random information of whats been happening

1, It is OFFICIAL!! Mr, Feisty is going to be adopted by my parents they have a big meeting coming up soon... he is such an amazing little boy and I will be so happy once he is my forever brother!!!! My parents are changing his name mostly for security reason... but his new name is CUTE!!! and fits him alot better

2, Mr, Feisty's sister moved to the mid-west last week...it was sad to see her go but I kept reminding myself that this was not a goodbye but a see ya later!! the day before she left we went on a girls date downtown and went to Ivar's and the aquarium..since well there is NO water where she lives..... I don't get how people can go their whole lives not living by any source of water.. when she left I have her a kiss and she insisted that if she was not going to attach herself to me and refuse to go with our social worker that I had a spin her around 5 times... so of course I did and then two extra because that is how old she is and because she is a special girl!! I have fallen in love with her in the three months that we had her on weekends.. I miss her but I know one day we will meet again and I will be able to give her hugs and spins!!!

3, This adopting Feisty has brought into out family an extended family and it is simple that our lives will never be the same.. we talk with feisty's sister at lease once per a week if not more.... these last couple times I have talked with feisty's aunt she is a nice lady... hopefully they can figure out skype soon so the kids can see each other....

4, I am so close to graduating college!!! I have 3 more quarters left!!! I will be done fall quarter... I cant believe it that I am almost done it seems like yesterday that I started..life is going by so fast I never thought I would make it through collage, the high school I went to did not prepare me at all to do the level of work that would be needed for collage. after three years I have it down pretty well!!! if I am not done fall quarter then it will be spring. my plans after that are to take maybe one quarter off and just rest and be with my family... but to also take time away from my busy life and reflect on where God desires for me to go next in life. I am thinking of this time as a sabbatical it has been a hard 4 years and more than ever I feel like I need to rest and recharge...
After that time of rest and renewal I am planning on attending community collage for about a year to get my Chemical dependency certificate and to complete a couple of classes that I will need for graduate school. when done with this I hope to work and gain some experience in the field.. after a couple of years I want to get my masters in Social work. this is what the plan is but I know all that it often does not go this way..I went to university to get my degree in Social work and ended up getting a degree in Sociology....

5, Anthony is back in the hospital after being out for three months..and the doctors have no idea what is going on..and honestly this stinks... I pray and hope that they find out soon I am praying that they do a biopsy of his gut and bottom..but we shall see..hopefully SOON

Lindsay

Its march???

oh my..
I cannot believe how fast February went by...
that means finals in 2 weeks....AHHHH

I just realized that it was February 2 weeks ago...oops. :)

but today is the day that we make it official and find out for sure if my parents are going to be adopting Mr, Feisty...to be honest I am nervous but I don't think at this point they would throw a curve ball and send him afar to his family in the mid-west... but then again it is the state of Washington...

These next few weekends are going to go and come... Mr fiesty's sister has been coming on the weekends for visit...and I have pretty much fallen in love....but besides that she is moving to her aunt and uncles in the midwest..in order for Mr Feisty to get to spend some quality time together she has been visiting every weekend for the past two weeks...she leaves the 18th of march which is....cough....my last final of winter quarter...Sometimes I don't know how I do it all but I do by the grace of God!! and maybe a little starbucks every now and then....

L-O-V-E

This sums everything up.... The verse from Corinthians is one that we hang up when we are out on the corner with the Girls... it is our wish that they could find true love that is in Jesus Christ...

The Littlest Soldiers

The Littlest Soldiers

Th​e medals on our chests
Are portacaths for meds
Helmets won't stay on
Cause no hair is on our heads.

Our weapons of destruction​
We take every day
We fight the battle within us
While we struggle on to play.

We fight with honor and courage
No marine could do as well
We are only little children
Liv​ing in this hell.

So bring on the medals
The Purple Hearts of Wars
The Gold Cross, The Silver Star
To place upon our scars.

For We are the Children of Cancer
No one has fought so hard
But every day we struggle on
Our LIFE is our reward.
​ by Cheryl Jagannathan​


This is so true! I think of Anthony as my hero. I remember the many times of chemo, surgery's, bazillion medicines that are helping to save his life (he still takes a lot), the sleepless night, and most of all I remember the struggle that this battle has been. we are far from over but little by little we are getting closer. Although we have kissed HLH (his blood disease) goodbye it is all but a distance memory. he is still not able to live a life of a normal 2 year old...but let me tell you the strength that he has is AMAZING!!! The strength that all kids have in order to fight these diseases is incredible. Just thinking about it brings me to tears because I have lived seen and experienced the emotions, the heartache, and small miracles that come along with this journey many call Cancer, although Anthony did not have cancer the only way to heal his disease is to give the same regimen as someone with cancer.

These kids are my hero's and if nothing else by walking beside my brother through his darkest moments in this journey have taught me to be strong and to not give up, to not loose hope..

Tomorrow Anthony reaches a HUGE milestone!! ever since Anthony has been in our care he has had either a central line or exterior picc line in either his chest or right arm.. He is doing SO well that the doctors now feel that he is healthy enough to get the line out.... honestly I am scared because the line he has in now is the last line that most likely the doctors will be able to get in because of all the blood clots that he has in his chest from the central lines. It is a big step in the right direction but once again, we cannot forget and wonder about the what ifs... The amazing part of this is that for the first time ever it will be so much easier to get him dressed, bathes, and to give him the chance to live a normal life without having to worry about pulling the picc line out!!!!

Anthony you are my hero!! I am so amazed at how far you have come since your transplant!!

Nimby (Not in my back yard)

H Thank goodness for the reminders that we are forgiven. This past Friday I was reading a book called "Renting Lacy" that really shows the life and troubles and life that a girl goes through as she is living the life as a prostitute. it is a heavy book. really good but I caught myself REALLY angry at men. The book points out why prostitution is still existing it is a simple economic term of supply and demand. there are men who desire to have sex so therefore there is a demand for women to full fill that. it caught me completely off guard but I was angry, I was angry at the devil for the liar he is. I still am. I am angry because it is not just a simple matter of supply and demand. I know the faces and the hardships that these women have to go through. simply I am hurting for them I am angry that there are men out there using and abusing women for their body's. These men are all types of different men races, cultures, ages, heights, single, married men, different social economic classes you name it they are out there... and simply I am pissed off that they are out there.

but I know they still need Jesus they t hemselves deserve and need to know the love that Christ has. No one night stand or 20 minutes of pleasure can full fill the lifetime of pain that they are feeling. The loneliness and lust that drives these johns (A john is a person who is seeking to pay money in order for exchange for a sexual act) out there night after night. The person who can change these men is Jesus, I think they seriously need a holy woopin from the heavenly father. I think of the wife's that are at home. wondering where their husbands are. I think of the diseases and pain that those wives are exposed to. the innocent lives that are lost. The family's that are broken because of the reason that drives these johns.

Human trafficking is real it is a BIG issue. it is real it is just not in 3rd world country's it is in America people say NIMBY (Not in my back yard) but I can simply tell you, yes it is. It is our American girls who are mostly involved in the life in America.

My prayer is that God will step on the scorpions and snakes that is out there on the streets and that Prostitution will forever go away in the United states. I believe it could happen. Prayer changes life's, knocks down walls, raises the dead, heals the sick, and many other things that our human. Minds minds can even begin to Image.

Happy 2nd birthday!!!

Dear Anthony,

I remember like it was yesterday hearing about a sweet four month old that was sitting in the hospital. He was a sick baby and the doctors had no idea if he was going to make it. The only chance that he would have to live is if he received a bone marrow transplant. I remember when mommy told me about you I started crying because for some reason I felt your pain and I fell in love with you. I had not seen a picture of you or heard your sweet laugh but Anthony it was in that fudge shop as mommy was telling me about meeting you for the first time. I fell in love with the miracle and life that you were then and still are today.



I got home that night from a weekend retreat and begged mommy to bring me up to the hospital to meet you for the first time. It seemed like it took forever to get there but finally we did. I remember seeing your laugh and smile, the pain you where in was no joke either but you fought hard to stay alive. It did not take long for all of us to fall completely in love with. I mean head over hills you have mommy, daddy, and me wrapped around your fingers, you my dear where simply AMAZING!! no words could express. the time I knew you where going to be a keeper is when daddy and I came to visit and it was so hard to walk away from your hospital room. I felt guilty leaving you. it wasn't soon after that that the doctors and nurses started to ask when we where going to start spending the night with you. it didn't take long Anthony, mommy and daddy worked out their schedules so that one of them would be up at the hospital with you at all times. You know whats amazing little man? is that 2 years later, whenever you go into the hospital we work it out so that someone is with you while you stay in the hospital!!!



In a matter of days you changed our family! it was still not easy seeing you so sick. Having to go through chemotherapy and take all the medicines to keep you alive. We knew of the transplant you would have to have but we took you in because we knew you needed a family, but really Anthony we saw you and could not walk away from you, we loved with a love that can only come from a loving God. we loved you because we knew God was calling you to be in our family. we also loved you because who couldn't you were seriously the cutest little guy!!



Looking at you two years later brings tears to my eyes thinking about the first days that you came to be in our family. It is amazing to see how such an AMAZING God could entrust us to such a fragile and precious gift. I am amazed and thankful to be your big sister, in so many ways I feel like you have taught me lessons. I also can not deny the fact that I love it when you call my name! or when you put your hands up in the air waving them like you just don't care!!! wanting to be picked up... I also could not love more the fact that you love pajamas and have recently found where your pj's are in your dresser and bring them to us to put on you. I also could not love more the contagious laugh and smile that you have. when you tell us to be quite, you put you finger in your nose and say "SHHHH"... whenever something happens that you don't like you say "Darn it" or just in general to anything that happens..... or when we ask you questions you actually know what we are talking about and can respond with a simply "yeah" or "No" in the sweetest voice....



what am I trying to say? I love you Anthony Wesley and I am so glad that you have been brought into our family through adoption there is no other way I would have wanted to meet you!! I wish you never had to go through all that pain and sickness but Anthony you have fought the roughest battle of your life and made it!! so keep living life and I pray that one day you will become the young man that God has created you to be.



Happy 2nd Birthday!!


Love,
big sister

good news!!!

I heard some news...I thought I would share



The word is unofficial..



but rumor has it



that this Four year old



Is going To



Be adopted by my parents!!!

I will dance,

I will dance like David danced!!

that's all I can say no more, no less....... can't go into details yet...but lets just say for the first time in MONTHS I feel a sense of relief...I felt burdens be lifted off my back....

Can I just say, God is so good??

I cant wait to post about probably the most amazing news!!! :)
if all goes well and the plans do not change.....
God is still good even if things don't go as planned...

why one should not pole dance

so last Thursday I had to stay at school late to make a long story late I ended up wandering through scary downtown Seattle to the ministry, where I volunteer out...........and I was with my two supervisors for the late night program...... well we where talking about how now days girls in college are doing pole dancing and it is the "Cool" thing.....apparently both of them have seen this video before and got on the computer ......and let me tell you all three of us where laughing so HARD !!!

This video is HILARIOUS!!

Happy belated 4th birthday

Dear Mr, Feisty

How can I express my love for you little man? As I look at you I see a little boy who has been restored and healed in ways that only God can do! you came to us so small and petite, you are still small but your heart is BIG!!!! you show me what it is to be joyful

when you came to us you would barely talk and now your words amazing me! what you know and express everyday brings a smile to my face!! your new saying is "Lindsay I need you" and of course I can not deny that!!! because you are just so cute! Oh and who could not smile when you put your arms around me and give me hug saying " my Sissy" yes you are a charmer!!

You are such a Joy I have enjoyed being a part of your life and to witness a miracle happen right in front of my eyes... My prayer for you buddy is that God can continue to heal and protect you. Mostly that God can continue that work that he has started in you at such a young age.. we don't know whether we will be your forever family but we will always pray for you and think of you no matter what happens. The one thing I want for you is that you grow up to be a man of God and you would give your whole heart to him. Feisty, I pray that you will lay all your burdens down at the foot of the cross...

Happy Birthday sweet boy!!!

Love you,
Sister

it's a battle out there

It is amazing how God works....what the devils means for harm and destruction...can draw you closer to the almighty savior.... Last Thursday in my update I wrote:

"I am feeling like tomorrow night is going to be busy, this is a spiritual warfare that is going on but prayer is the most powerful weapon that we have as Christians"

I had no idea how true this would become the next night as I was on outreach. we were stepping on territory and crossing boundaries that have not been passed thus with the men's ministry they were preaching and opening up in ways like never before to the two B and D who are the men's leaders who work in the pimp outreach ministry. they were stepping and breaking ground it was amazing to hear.

Some of our Girls had exciting news, it was a slow night but we prayed and had community on that corner... most of the girls left the streets and went home because of the increased police activity. it was amazing to see. it was a totally different night then the other nights that I have been out.

We left the streets about 2:20 went back and closed up in prayer. D was giving B and I a ride home. all the way to B's house they were laughing with joy because of the amazing ground and progress they have made they said it was like a break through that they had been praying for...

fast forward about 15 minutes later and D and I were at a stop light it had turned red to we were stopped, about a minutes later it turned green and then out of NOWHERE a car came and flew into the back of D's car and we went flying in the intersection, D couldn't put his feet on the break but thankfully he had automatic lock in his car. we sat there breathless and without words.

we were shaken up I reached into my pocket of my coat and called 911 at that point I only felt a little pain but D automatically felt the pain and could barely move. I asked for the emergency cars to come. we sat in the car just waiting finally, finally after about 10 minutes aid and police cars came.

The cars behind us was a mess it was crashed all the way to the window shield and D's car is a brand new car and unfortunately is totaled. I called D's wife letting her know of the accident, called again then she got it and woke up. I finally called my dad letting them know having him come to the scene of the accident. at that point I was shaking and really not in any pain I was worried about D getting out of the car safely, the car being taken care of, D's wife knowing where he was going to be at, getting all of his valuables out of his car... lets just say I was being me making sure that everything else was taken care of before I took care of myself..

about 35 minutes after the accident I was standing there shaking and freezing cold like never before I started to feel the pain and decided to seek medical attention... I hopped into the aid car and within 5 minutes my neck, back, and head where hurting with pain like I have never felt. I was still shaking... we had to wait for a back bored to come because apparently you have to be on one if you seek air after an accident.. "It is standard procedure"... finally they came and they strapped me to a bored and at that point I had a neck brace on. I was sitting in the car and I told D, "This feels like a dream" he said "I know it has happened so fast" mind you it was 3:30 in the morning when the accident happened...

I will never forget laying on the stretcher and God showing me, "Lindsay this is how the girls feel, they feel like they are stuck in bondage".. It amazes me still that in that moment he chose to show me what it was like.. It was real and I felt the pain they were in.. The bondage and helplessness that they are experiencing, as they are living this life. it was painful and it has brought me to my knees even more.

As we rode in the ambulance D said that is felt like we were riding on a sleigh backwards... lets just say we were tied and in pain, but we were laughing hard I don't remember about what but we were laughing.. At one point I said "Stop making me laugh it hurts to much" and we just laughed more. It is true that the Joy of the lord it your strength!!

as we got to the hospital I was shaking still, it turns out I was in complete shock and my temperature was dropping rapidly.

after x-rays, blood test, urine test, other test that are to uncomfortable to talk about... we were set free to go home.. ALL we have severe neck and back whip lash..... and let me say it is painful but I have to give God the glory because it could of been a lot worst than what it is. I have stayed home all week to rest and recuperate from the injury's. unfortunately for us and the other guy he had no car insurance... which in the end D's insurance will go after the other driver. it is sad but their is a reason you have car insurance.. although it cost to much and usually nothing happens, it is for that one time when something does happen.....

It would be easy to cry and scream at God as to why this happened but I have to say it was an attack it was meant to bring us down. it is an attack on D because of the places he is taking the church, with work and late night outreach with the guys....and on me because of how God is working and changing my life. it was clearly an attack but to be honest it has helped me to see God in a much clearer way and know that this is what he wants me to be doing. there is so much going on and with ministry and school....

It is a reminder that their is a spiritual battle going on with peoples life, and when we are going to reach out and claim Gods glory by building life changing relationships we are going to be attacked but we can not let that stop us.. it is only a confirmation like I said that God needs us to be working in our citys.

I need to head to bed it hurts to sit to long... but I am excited to get back out there but my supervisor has already made it clear that I am not allowed to go out this friday.. I am going to stay at home and pray!! Because honestly I love being out there, although I almost cry everytime out of compassion God has given me a heart for those women.

outreach update

Today I am heavy with the weight of so many things...
I can feel my heart breaking for the woman that I work with
I have been involved with the Late Night outreach(LNO) since November of 2009 which works with women who are involved with prostituting. I can tell I am not the same person I was that street corner has changed my life.

But tonight I am extra heavy I am carrying a burdened for those woman who I see on the Friday and Saturday nights that I am out there. I am aching inside for the life they are living. The pain they are going through. The kids who are left at home. The men who are deceiving them. The police who are arresting them giving them Justice but that they could be fair and understand the lives of these Woman.

But there are AMAZING things that God is doing in the state there is a law that is going to the senate (Cant go into details but be praying for the Law that might be passed), there is a conference in Washington DC with Police, Lawyers, prosecuting attorneys, ministries, social services meeting together to rally and learn more about the issue of the Life.
God is moving in a miraculous way!

More and more of our young Woman involved in the life are saying they want to leave the life, they say it laughingly but deep down they Do... we have and know of resources to help them get out of the life if they want really want to...

God IS moving! all around the world, in this country and in the state of Washington.

I am feeling like tomorrow night is going to be busy, this is a spiritual warfare that is going on but prayer is the most powerful weapon that we have as Christians, I know when I am out on the streets I will see a girl and begin praying for her I may not know her name but God does and he hears those prayers. If you feel lead to please pray for these Precious Ladies that God can grip them and show them what real love is.