As I went to my retreat this past weekend for work, on of our devotions we got asked the question, what is you holding you back from fullfilling the call that God has place on your life? and we had to draw a picture....and that is how mine came out....on the left side it is showing how I am now, holding on to my past and not allowing god to shine through me. I sometimes do not want to let go and let God take control.........and it leaves me feeling down and honestly I feel like I carry my burdends...by not being in his word and spending the time that I need in order to be the Women of God that he has called me to be.

on the right side it is showing me as being fully emersed in Gods glory, by "standing on his holy ground". by reading and growing closer to God... as I am letting Gods glory shine out of me, people are gatherd around me that I am going to serve in some way, because they can see christ through me.

I feel as thought this is what God is saying for me to do..to fully give my self to him by sacraficing it all...and to take time in his word to grow closer...so that I can fullfill the purpose that Jesus has for me!!!!

So I am praying that I can become the Women that God designed me to be.... I want to fullfill my purpose on this earth.... God please continue to heal me and draw me closer to you!!

If you have come to help me you are wasting your time. But if you have come because your liberation is bound up with mine, then let us work together"
- Aboriginal Activist


So last quarter at school in the Dialogue class they gave us this purple piece of paper that has this quote on it, and ever since I got it I have been thinking about it..and what is means to be in an Alliance with people and to really be their to work and not "Save them" but to work together alongside people who are in the everyday struggle of life such as discrimination and racism. I often think of the classic example of when I moved to Seattle, a VERY DIVERSE COMMUNITY, I began to work with the kids at the elementary school, my goal was to help and save the kids for Jesus but soon I got tired and my energy got really low as soon as I looked to God and said "I cant be the savior for these kids only you can, I need you to show me how to work along side them and work with them to fight their battles". My whole way of working with kids and even people has changed. to walk alongside people and to work with people who sometimes don't have a voice in society. I want to be an example of someone who isn't using their white privilege when working with people but to let go of that and help someone fight a fight that is hard to fight alone...I think that this can come to be true by being in community that is diverse and to be open minded...I loved this class cause we were so vulnerable to each other, we weren't there to save people but rather talk about and work our way through tough issues with each other. I think that this Quote is really important for all people specifically whites who want to help people, to realize that they don't need help people need someone who is willing to building an alliance and to walk hand in hand, helping to work through issues together..... I want to be that person who is walking along side people who are less fortunate than me and to build a community of people who are will to listen and fight for Freedom............

So I found this video and started to cry completely....because my parents have been foster parents but also we do receiving home care for babys who's birth mom's CHOOSE to give them up for adoption. each baby comes with a different story whether the mom is young or old, the mom chose to give them up for whatever reason it may be. when the baby's leave they go away with their new parents who are full of joy and hope. I am so thankful for all the birthmom's who chose birth for their children because all of the babys we have had so far are happy and healthy, and I know they will thank their Birthmoms for choosing life.......

WOW!!! I AM DONE WITH MY FIRST YEAR AT COLLEGE!! it has been a journey that is for sure, this year I feel like I learned to much....next year I will be applying for the School of Social Work!!! that is so amazing..it is soo neat to know that I have God on my side...I honestly dont think that I could of made it through this school year if I didnt have him.....so much happend with the Church plant and with my family...but I MADE IT!!!! by that grace of God.... I am excited to be done..this summer is going to be life changing...and I am not going to be the same person as I am now when I am finished...and I am excited to be challenged and stretched as I begin my Internship with the church..... wow...God is AMAZING..so we only had 8,000 dollars to do camp this summer...and yesterday their was a conference and God provided alllllllllllllllllll the money we need to be able to run the camp plus extra.....we have all 40,000!!!!!!!! God is GOOOOOOD!!!

when my family lived in Lynnwood I met this friend 10 years ago and we got really close when my family was going through a rough time I pretty much lived at Sarah's house. it was I time in my life were I needed somewhere to go that was not my own house. and I am thankful that I had a house to go to... I got so close to the blaine family..... but as my family got cloesr to God he called us to move out of the apartments...since then I havent really seen them......but Sarah graduated from high school!! and well that is the picture of us..now it is so amazing...to see old friends.... when I saw Robin (Sarah's mom) she started to cry because she hadn't seen me in soooo long.........and as shocked at who I am becoming...and was amazed that we were alll grown!!! I love looking back at my life and seeing how God has worked and chaged my family...if someone would of told me who I was to become, I would of LAUGHED in your face..what me???? a social worker?? no way...but now I know that is what I am being called to do.....

Sorry...this is a really random post..haha....I have alot on my mind...but that is okay...