Monday, October 13, 2008



My prayer for this week is that I can fully begin to look to Jesus in all that I do, by relying on him for everything that I do. This song is one that I learned when I was going into High School and it has really been my prayer for my generation, that we can see God and be the people that God has called us to be!!!! it has been hard to fully rely on God and to take a bold step to be obedient and to take risk...especially when my heart is tired of seeing A-man sick...I never doubt God that he doesn’t have a will for A-mans young life but I wonder, why are all these kids in so much pain?? What did they do to deserve Cancer of other rare diseases??? Why them??? Why do they have to have chemotherapy at the age of 8 months??? Why do so many of the Kids on A-mans floor have to deal with anxiety of not knowing if they are going to make it??? I couldn’t imagine what these kids are going thru, but why God???? Why these kids, who are so precious and innocent??? I know God can heal A-man and all that other children, I know he has the power, but is it in his will?? I don’t know??? I only pray and hope that A-man can live to see this world and all that is in it. I pray that one day A-man will know he is blessed.

often I get ideas and don’t follow thru, but today I was sitting at home and I felt like we needed to get a Photographer for A-man, because he doesn’t have any tubes in his nose, so I looked and looked and couldn’t find one, so I looked at the now I lay me down to sleep website and found some good photographers in the area, so I called this one lady who had a website, I looked at it and felt like I just needed to call and see if someone is willing to do it... so I did and she is willing!!!! She lives about 14 miles from us, and she is willing to come to the hospital and take pictures of A-man for free, what a GIFT!!! I didn’t tell her where I found her but she was totally amazing!!! And willing to do this for my family!!! it is such a gift and I cant wait for the pictures to be taken....I am in awe that someone is willing to do that...I was going to pay for it because I think it is important to get done...but she is willing to do it for free!!!!.. But Unfortunately due to Child privacy acts we won’t be able to show any of the pictures that are taken with A-man on the internet....
Her laugh is a faint memory




It has almost been a year since we found out that our sweet “N” was not going to be living with us anymore and return home.. tonight I was laying in my bed getting ready to sleep and I began to pray for Charlie, who has his surgery in less than 6 hours, For Feisty man and seeing how far he has come these past 7 months, and PRAISING GOD for the life of A-man and the miracles that are already being done in his body… these past two years of my parents being foster parents have brought on many great trials of joyfulness of being able to love on every kid who walks through the doors and time of sorrow of having to trust God as we let go some of the ones we grew closest to, each child with a different story and but know that God has his hand on each one of their lives. When I found out “N” was leaving I was playing with her and took a recording of her sweet voice on my cell phone, as weird as that may sound I still listen to it every now and then just to be able to hear her voice for one last time. I miss her so much and I wish that I could see her. all the little babies I see, I think of “N” how soon she is going to be two, how she is now walking, talking more than ever and is now a big sister!!. How I wish for just one second I could see this little Girl God's and has been on her life from the start of her life.. How when she came to us she was so small, tiny, and lifeless …but we loved her and prayed for God to work in her life.. after 9 months of her living with us she was totally different baby who was full of life, joy, and zest for life. soon after she turned 1 she was gone just like that................. above all I pray and hope that she can become who God created to be, that she can live life to the fullest. I may never see her again but I am praying for her knowing that God is in control of her Precious life! I am thankful for her because she taught me so much about how to live life to the fullest and to love everyone no matter what they are going through.. she taught me alot about faith and trusting God to take care of it. she was only 1 when she left but she forever changed me.

I am so thankful for Charlie and the two other boys! they are simply amazing! today Charlie and Fiest man were soo good in church!! I was watching them cause my mom was at the hospital with A-man, and my was in jail (okay, so he was preaching at the jail this sunday).. but I was giving the boys some food to eat when Mrs, D who was my boss this summer for camp pulled me aside and asked me, "What is going on with you dad?" I replied "he is at the jail preaching" mrs D looked at me "Okay that makes sense because I asked Charlie your dad was and he said that he was in jail, I told charlie that his dad isnt in jail but charlie but he insisted that he was because you told him.... I just wanted to make sure that everything was okay and nothing happend...." I was like oh he is fine... and we laughed about it.. and I told charlie that daddy was coming home to see him later after he got done preaching.. I just had a good time with the boys, playing football in the house, coloring, watching tv, and just being with them! they are the most amazing boys EVER!!!