Monday, October 13, 2008

Her laugh is a faint memory




It has almost been a year since we found out that our sweet “N” was not going to be living with us anymore and return home.. tonight I was laying in my bed getting ready to sleep and I began to pray for Charlie, who has his surgery in less than 6 hours, For Feisty man and seeing how far he has come these past 7 months, and PRAISING GOD for the life of A-man and the miracles that are already being done in his body… these past two years of my parents being foster parents have brought on many great trials of joyfulness of being able to love on every kid who walks through the doors and time of sorrow of having to trust God as we let go some of the ones we grew closest to, each child with a different story and but know that God has his hand on each one of their lives. When I found out “N” was leaving I was playing with her and took a recording of her sweet voice on my cell phone, as weird as that may sound I still listen to it every now and then just to be able to hear her voice for one last time. I miss her so much and I wish that I could see her. all the little babies I see, I think of “N” how soon she is going to be two, how she is now walking, talking more than ever and is now a big sister!!. How I wish for just one second I could see this little Girl God's and has been on her life from the start of her life.. How when she came to us she was so small, tiny, and lifeless …but we loved her and prayed for God to work in her life.. after 9 months of her living with us she was totally different baby who was full of life, joy, and zest for life. soon after she turned 1 she was gone just like that................. above all I pray and hope that she can become who God created to be, that she can live life to the fullest. I may never see her again but I am praying for her knowing that God is in control of her Precious life! I am thankful for her because she taught me so much about how to live life to the fullest and to love everyone no matter what they are going through.. she taught me alot about faith and trusting God to take care of it. she was only 1 when she left but she forever changed me.

I am so thankful for Charlie and the two other boys! they are simply amazing! today Charlie and Fiest man were soo good in church!! I was watching them cause my mom was at the hospital with A-man, and my was in jail (okay, so he was preaching at the jail this sunday).. but I was giving the boys some food to eat when Mrs, D who was my boss this summer for camp pulled me aside and asked me, "What is going on with you dad?" I replied "he is at the jail preaching" mrs D looked at me "Okay that makes sense because I asked Charlie your dad was and he said that he was in jail, I told charlie that his dad isnt in jail but charlie but he insisted that he was because you told him.... I just wanted to make sure that everything was okay and nothing happend...." I was like oh he is fine... and we laughed about it.. and I told charlie that daddy was coming home to see him later after he got done preaching.. I just had a good time with the boys, playing football in the house, coloring, watching tv, and just being with them! they are the most amazing boys EVER!!!

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