by Coley Strickland
My innocent and sweet baby boy,
I knew you could bring me so much joy.
But you deserved more than just love alone,
So my gift to you was a mom, a dad, and a stable home.
We talked and thought open adoption seemed to be the best,
Little did I know that my soul it would test.
I am told that it was a loving choice,
And I know your mom and dad look at you and rejoice.
We would have the chance to see each other,
And you the opportunity to know your brother.
This seemed to be the best thing for you
I just didn't know how hard it would be to follow through.
Each visit with you can be so tough
I never knew loving you would be so rough,
I hear you say "Mama" and realize it's not meant for me
I silently shed tears you can not see.
I watch you playing and walking
I listen as you never stop talking!
We play and have so much fun
But I don't think you realize you are my son.
Oh no, it's time to say goodbye
I fight back the tears as I want to cry
The goodbyes are always the hardest part
I always dread them right from the start.
My heart hurts; I love and miss you so
And I wonder if you miss me every time I go.
Between our precious visits and time spent with each other
I hope you will always remember the love of your birthmother.
I found this poem online and it made me think Of Charlie's Birth mom, and I am thankful for my Aunt J, for allowing us to adopt Charlie and I know it is SO hard to leave him, but the courage I see in her and the pain that she has been through since Steve died, I pray for her, and I hope that Charlie will one day know that he is truly loved, I don't care what my mom's family thinks about my Steve's wife, I don't care what anyone thinks or what hap pend when Steven died, or who mis played with what..., what I am thankful for is Charlie's birth mom, for carrying him and having a relationship with him, I know it is hard cause every time you see Charlie, you see a mirror image of Steven....but what a gift Charlie is, that last thing that steven asked me the night before he dies was "will you take care of my son?" and I told him "Alwaays uncle steve"... it was like he knew that Jesus was calling him home and wanted to know Charlie would be taken care of... I get a tear in my eye everytime I think of the wedding that took place the night before steve passed. this poem reminded me of Aunt J and what she must feel everytime she comes for a visit to see charlie and really reminds me of the importance of open adoption, of allowing the child to see their birth mom....
It is amazing how much they look alike, but my hope for my brother is that he knows he is his own person and that God can reign in his life.... I am so thankful for my cousin who became my forever Brother....
