He knows my name

it was a normal Sunday, my brothers in the car, mom driving, dad staying home with Anthony, Starbucks before church...

the same routine as every Sunday

Church begins and like all Sundays for the past 18 months Feisty wanted me to hold him as we were singing worship songs, we sang, clapped, whispered to each other....

then the song "He knows my name" was the next song, as I starred at Feisty..his smile, his innocence, how far he has come in such a short time.... I couldn't bear to hold back my tears..I couldn't be strong anymore..I knew at that moment it was for sure that he was going..there is no more covering how I feel inside, the frustration, the hurt,how much I would love to be able to know he was not leaving...but in fact he is...
when this verse came on, my mom and I both cried, and I grabbed feisty closer and hugged him.... it was like God was holding my mom and me in that moment.... as I heard the song it was like Feisty was singing this song....

He knows my name
He knows my every thought
He sees each tear that falls
and He hears me when I call
I have a Father
He calls me His own
He'll never leave me
No matter where I go

no matter where feisty goes God will never leave him, in fact he has the word of God planted in his heart from the past 18 months...he is always asking me to sing and play "Jesus Music", and has begun to ask questions about Jesus....No matter how much I want my brother to stay, no matter how much I want to scream.... I cant do anything..

But the God of the Universe has plans for Feisty!!! he will never let him go....I feel a better knowing that and being reminded of that...

as this whole case with Feisty is coming to a end soon and unfortunately he will be leaving..please pray for his Birth mom... that God will be her fortress and guide...that she can be healed...
Pray for my Brother Charlie as he is loosing his best bud..Charlie has already proclaimed that he wants to get the social worker and fire her from her job... Pray that God Will protect his heart and to comfort him as processes what is going on..
Pray for my mom, dad, and myself..as we have to say goodbye...