Today
I am releaved
I am happy
I am free
Today
I realized that although this year has been crap
that
Today
yesterday
and forever
God has a plan for my life
Someone asked what kind ministry I was in, and I said none I am taking a break to find where I was meant to be and where God was leading me
Today
I know God has called me to be with and amonst all people of the earth...to build relationships, be open and honest.... to be like Jesus is to love and not judge.... yes you have to be honest...
Today
I know God has called me to be a university student...
Today
I know that with each of the interactions that I have had with people, he has been there guiding me..
Today
I am a leader, a worshiper, a human, a sinner that has been forgiven
Today
I am saved by God's grace...
I dont need to be part of some particular ministry, I dont need a big t-shirt, or bill board sign..all I need to to pray that God will use me...
the past two times I have pleaded and prayed for God to use me...he has opened the doors... as I have been a willing vessle for him.... and used to glorify him
Today
I am not my own I am serving the king of kings and lord of lords!!
Today,
I shook hands with 4,000 people!! (Just a random fact)! an completly lost my voice...cheering on the incoming freshman!! it was a BLAST!
Sunday, September 27, 2009
Wednesday, September 23, 2009
Code blue
Last night Anthony was not feeling good and has a temp of 100.3... . my mom and I knew we needed to get him here because he did have a temperature but he was also shivering, projectile vomiting, and diarah.... with that said it we hopped into the car thinking that we would possibly be admitted but we didn't pack anything, only Clothes for Anthony...
Finally when they admitted him and we got into our room, he was sleeping and he pretty much did so for the whole night but then we started to poop and poop..and begin to quiver his atomic like he wanted to projectile vomit..I just help him, caught his vomit and tried to stay calm as I saw my brother getting sicker and sicker...
at about three in the morning I got up to change probably diaper #23 (not even exaggerating) I saw that he has some blood in his stool, but it wasn't exactly stool it was mucus..I was concerned and called in the nurse she took some blood to see if he needed platelets but he didn't need any at the time...then he just tried to sleep in his crib and pull off diapers..all that to say by about 8:00 when shift changes we just done I began to get even more worried for Anthony...I just had the feeling he was not doing well and was talking to the nurse about what should be done I said he needed some kind of fluid, some zofran, and some other meds... he was laying in his bed all quivered up grunting... the nurse took his blood pressure and it was DANGEROUSLY low..we kind of freaked out a little..so the nurse went and ran into an attending and she came in to check on Anthony...
His blood pressure were still low and she tried to get a hold of the picu people to come and look at him but she couldn’t get a hold of them..I think in that moment she made a scary move but in the end it saved the life of my brother...
She pulled the code blue button, and all of a sudden people came flooding down the halls... running his room was filled up in a matter of seconds..I am not going to lie and say that I was okay..I didn't know what to do..but when she pulled it I thought " OH SHIT, and I need to get a hold of my parents"
I called my mom and she didn't pick up, so I called my home phone then my dad picked up...I was so shaken up that all I could say was "somebody needs to get here NOW, they code blued Anthony.... because he has low blood pressures" and I hung up... on my dad..because even though I couldn't be next to him I needed to be there without a phone...I had no words to say I was literally speechless.... finally the Social worker came in and I called my mom and he talked to her, then my dad called and I was still speechless... and the resident talked to him to let him know what was going on... I just stood there talking to the Social worker, what else was I to do? the nurses and doctors we talking loud, flushing in water syringe after water syringe..it was about 470ML of water...the resident was squeezing in water...putting oxygen on him..lets just say it was controlled chaos...but it was scary...I was shaking, crying..but I had nothing to do all I did was stand there wanting to grab my brother and hold him..but I had to let go and completely truth him in the hands of all the people taking care of him... and trust that God would protect him..it was hard...but I had to...the Chaplin showed up and came into the room and we talked a little... I felt at peace and when I saw her I felt at ease.. ony of the BMT fellows were telling me what was going on and she kept pulling me aside and keeping me updated... we finally got to the elevates and it was pretty packed but the BMT fellow pulled me into the elevator and said that I was the most important person there..I calmed him down and gave him a kiss... then we got to the floor and rushed back to the room and everyone was still flying around and once again the same lady pulled me inside of the room and made sure I was there... it was completely scary..and I don’t remember all the details I just remember standing there, speechless trying to talk but I couldn’t... finally things settled down...but they were going to put in a central line to be able to put in all the fluids and meds that he needs....
looking back on the whole thing I see how all these people came together and did their Job, but there were people who were also there to support the family..it was scary and I can’t say that enough..When we got to the room his blood pressures started to go up and since then he has been stable.....
I am in Awe at how God worked in this whole situation, I don’t know how to explain it or even the words.... but what I do know is that even though Anthony got so sick so fast...that God was ahead of the whole situation and placed people where they need to be in that whole controlled chaos…..
Tonight somehow my parents let me stay the night and didn’t kick me out of the house…but I am here with Anthony, watching and keeping a close eye on him..let me say he looks 100% better than he did this morning..he is a little out of it but he is resting and that is what he needs to get better… I know when we updated facebook people were praying, people from the blogs and people we don’t even know were praying…people may say that medical intervention saved Anthony’s life but he is doing so well tonight, I know God healed and was there with my family in the time of need.. I tried my best to act the best that I could. It’s not every day you see a code blue
When we Got Anthony a couple months later God gave me a verse and it rings true today as it did when I heard the verse:
Finally when they admitted him and we got into our room, he was sleeping and he pretty much did so for the whole night but then we started to poop and poop..and begin to quiver his atomic like he wanted to projectile vomit..I just help him, caught his vomit and tried to stay calm as I saw my brother getting sicker and sicker...
at about three in the morning I got up to change probably diaper #23 (not even exaggerating) I saw that he has some blood in his stool, but it wasn't exactly stool it was mucus..I was concerned and called in the nurse she took some blood to see if he needed platelets but he didn't need any at the time...then he just tried to sleep in his crib and pull off diapers..all that to say by about 8:00 when shift changes we just done I began to get even more worried for Anthony...I just had the feeling he was not doing well and was talking to the nurse about what should be done I said he needed some kind of fluid, some zofran, and some other meds... he was laying in his bed all quivered up grunting... the nurse took his blood pressure and it was DANGEROUSLY low..we kind of freaked out a little..so the nurse went and ran into an attending and she came in to check on Anthony...
His blood pressure were still low and she tried to get a hold of the picu people to come and look at him but she couldn’t get a hold of them..I think in that moment she made a scary move but in the end it saved the life of my brother...
She pulled the code blue button, and all of a sudden people came flooding down the halls... running his room was filled up in a matter of seconds..I am not going to lie and say that I was okay..I didn't know what to do..but when she pulled it I thought " OH SHIT, and I need to get a hold of my parents"
I called my mom and she didn't pick up, so I called my home phone then my dad picked up...I was so shaken up that all I could say was "somebody needs to get here NOW, they code blued Anthony.... because he has low blood pressures" and I hung up... on my dad..because even though I couldn't be next to him I needed to be there without a phone...I had no words to say I was literally speechless.... finally the Social worker came in and I called my mom and he talked to her, then my dad called and I was still speechless... and the resident talked to him to let him know what was going on... I just stood there talking to the Social worker, what else was I to do? the nurses and doctors we talking loud, flushing in water syringe after water syringe..it was about 470ML of water...the resident was squeezing in water...putting oxygen on him..lets just say it was controlled chaos...but it was scary...I was shaking, crying..but I had nothing to do all I did was stand there wanting to grab my brother and hold him..but I had to let go and completely truth him in the hands of all the people taking care of him... and trust that God would protect him..it was hard...but I had to...the Chaplin showed up and came into the room and we talked a little... I felt at peace and when I saw her I felt at ease.. ony of the BMT fellows were telling me what was going on and she kept pulling me aside and keeping me updated... we finally got to the elevates and it was pretty packed but the BMT fellow pulled me into the elevator and said that I was the most important person there..I calmed him down and gave him a kiss... then we got to the floor and rushed back to the room and everyone was still flying around and once again the same lady pulled me inside of the room and made sure I was there... it was completely scary..and I don’t remember all the details I just remember standing there, speechless trying to talk but I couldn’t... finally things settled down...but they were going to put in a central line to be able to put in all the fluids and meds that he needs....
looking back on the whole thing I see how all these people came together and did their Job, but there were people who were also there to support the family..it was scary and I can’t say that enough..When we got to the room his blood pressures started to go up and since then he has been stable.....
I am in Awe at how God worked in this whole situation, I don’t know how to explain it or even the words.... but what I do know is that even though Anthony got so sick so fast...that God was ahead of the whole situation and placed people where they need to be in that whole controlled chaos…..
Tonight somehow my parents let me stay the night and didn’t kick me out of the house…but I am here with Anthony, watching and keeping a close eye on him..let me say he looks 100% better than he did this morning..he is a little out of it but he is resting and that is what he needs to get better… I know when we updated facebook people were praying, people from the blogs and people we don’t even know were praying…people may say that medical intervention saved Anthony’s life but he is doing so well tonight, I know God healed and was there with my family in the time of need.. I tried my best to act the best that I could. It’s not every day you see a code blue
When we Got Anthony a couple months later God gave me a verse and it rings true today as it did when I heard the verse:
God's voice thunders in marvelous ways;
he does great things beyond our understanding.
Job 37:5
he does great things beyond our understanding.
Job 37:5
Sunday, September 06, 2009
Perfect people
I love that song!! "Perfect People" and I can relate to it often... living in the urban city I have come across many different people of all cultures, Backgrounds, religions, profession.... I have been faced with sin, fallen short, and then I get back up..Often I wonder why I am still living in the city..I would love to leave the city and live in the country..live where there are people that look just like me..but then I realize that God has called us to be with the sick and hurting... he has called us to love on people no matter what they are going through..to be there and to share the Gospel....
Honestly today I am in a valley..I don't know where or what I will be doing next and I see no end in sight to the horrible nightmare...
But God has his promise..he reminds me that their are no such thing as a perfect people...we are to come to him just as we are..broken, shattered, drunk, high, depressed, hopeless, angry, addicted whatever we may be going through.....
Come to ME says the Father.... and I will give you rest...
I need to remind myself often that I need to come to him just as I am..I need to allow him to work in me and through me... it is not easy..but it is necessary... it is necessary to allow God to teach and be my comforter.. Today at church I had a sense of Comfort...Pastor asked us to close our eyes and imagine ourselves with God all safe and sound.... I pictured myself being held like a baby crying but still at peace...it is amazing to know that the God of the UNIVERSE cares enough to comfort and bring me peace... but most of to come to him Just as I am....broken
Honestly today I am in a valley..I don't know where or what I will be doing next and I see no end in sight to the horrible nightmare...
But God has his promise..he reminds me that their are no such thing as a perfect people...we are to come to him just as we are..broken, shattered, drunk, high, depressed, hopeless, angry, addicted whatever we may be going through.....
Come to ME says the Father.... and I will give you rest...
I need to remind myself often that I need to come to him just as I am..I need to allow him to work in me and through me... it is not easy..but it is necessary... it is necessary to allow God to teach and be my comforter.. Today at church I had a sense of Comfort...Pastor asked us to close our eyes and imagine ourselves with God all safe and sound.... I pictured myself being held like a baby crying but still at peace...it is amazing to know that the God of the UNIVERSE cares enough to comfort and bring me peace... but most of to come to him Just as I am....broken
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