The waiting room

To be honest this year has been difficult..
It is hard to imagine how much my life has changed in one year!
it is hard to think of the community of people that I had a year ago are the people who despise me today.
it is hard to think that even though what the devil meant for harm it has been turned into something beautiful. although there are people that have gone and moved on so have I. it felt like this year I have been sitting in a waiting room waiting for Answers from God...

last thanksgiving we were anticipating the transplant date and the hopeful adoption of my brother. we struggled between the fine line of "What if" and "how come" but today we are rejoicing with praise and thanksgiving because of the miraculous healing of Anthony... he is 100% engrafted with his donor cells and doing amazingly well and far passed any expectations that the team had for him. we are in great communication with his birth family and his mom is still holding on and waiting to see her birth son. we are thankful for "S" and the gift of open adoption that we are forever thankful for!

This thanksgiving we went to my uncles house and celebrated thanksgiving with my aunt, uncle and cousins for the first time in 10 years. I know my grandma and Grandpa were there in spirit rejoicing from heaven seeing their children and grandchildren gather. I looked at Grandma and Grandpa's pictures in their hallway know that this is what they had prayed for when they started a family.

The last five years, I was knew that God was calling me to be involved with late night night outreach a ministry that works with women involved with prostitution and tonight marks the night that I go out and begin that work. to be honest like I have said this past year God kept telling me to wait for what he has called me to do.. about a week after I turned 21 I was praying and the only word I got was the word "Women" I was like okay..you want me to work with women but where and who? and that was in my head for awhile and then a couple days later I got a call from my mentor who knew that I wanted to work with late night and that I was finally old enough.. so she called and we chatted.. I filled out my paperwork, set up an interview and then training came... it has taken forever.... to get to tonight but I am excited!!! to see what God is doing on the streets and in the life's of these women.

so tonight I am no longer in the waiting room I am prepared as much as possible to go out and I found from a blog that I read and I think it apples to me and really describes this past year... he told me "No" so many times and tonight he is telling me "YES"

Happy birthday N!!

Dear N,


oh sweet N..you were so tiny and small when you came home..you came home not to live but yet the God of the universe chose to keep and give you life! you where the miracle and baby girl that we had been praying for!!! I will never forget the moment I knew I loved you we were sitting on the couch and you just starred at me and smiled... it was a moment that will never be forgotten!!


I remember the days of watching you dance to music, learn to talk.. you N where a miracle a little piece of Heaven.. although you don't remember me now you still have a piece of my heart.. I know you are safe and I pray for you every night..


My wish for you as that as you grow up that you will be drawn to the God of the universe and know that you are loved... that you will want to serve him with all you have...


I still love you and even though it has been almost two years since you left... may you be blessed on your 3rd birthday!!



Love,

Lindsay

I am mad at the state...
I so wish that I could break the walls and social systems that have been set up...
I wish that I could yell in the faces of the social workers asking what they are thinking????

I wish and hope to see a miracle happen...

What would that miracle be??

for feisty to stay with us forever! I cant go into the situation in detail but I am sad and scared that he might be ripped away from us..but I still believe that God can perform a miracle if it is in his plans for him to stay with us..

It hurts to loose him it never gets easier... and I pray that God will give me family and the other family involved peace as we may be loosing the children....and ultimately that God can protect those children as they will have to loose all security and attachments that they have formed since coming into foster care...