L-O-V-E

This sums everything up.... The verse from Corinthians is one that we hang up when we are out on the corner with the Girls... it is our wish that they could find true love that is in Jesus Christ...

The Littlest Soldiers

The Littlest Soldiers

Th​e medals on our chests
Are portacaths for meds
Helmets won't stay on
Cause no hair is on our heads.

Our weapons of destruction​
We take every day
We fight the battle within us
While we struggle on to play.

We fight with honor and courage
No marine could do as well
We are only little children
Liv​ing in this hell.

So bring on the medals
The Purple Hearts of Wars
The Gold Cross, The Silver Star
To place upon our scars.

For We are the Children of Cancer
No one has fought so hard
But every day we struggle on
Our LIFE is our reward.
​ by Cheryl Jagannathan​


This is so true! I think of Anthony as my hero. I remember the many times of chemo, surgery's, bazillion medicines that are helping to save his life (he still takes a lot), the sleepless night, and most of all I remember the struggle that this battle has been. we are far from over but little by little we are getting closer. Although we have kissed HLH (his blood disease) goodbye it is all but a distance memory. he is still not able to live a life of a normal 2 year old...but let me tell you the strength that he has is AMAZING!!! The strength that all kids have in order to fight these diseases is incredible. Just thinking about it brings me to tears because I have lived seen and experienced the emotions, the heartache, and small miracles that come along with this journey many call Cancer, although Anthony did not have cancer the only way to heal his disease is to give the same regimen as someone with cancer.

These kids are my hero's and if nothing else by walking beside my brother through his darkest moments in this journey have taught me to be strong and to not give up, to not loose hope..

Tomorrow Anthony reaches a HUGE milestone!! ever since Anthony has been in our care he has had either a central line or exterior picc line in either his chest or right arm.. He is doing SO well that the doctors now feel that he is healthy enough to get the line out.... honestly I am scared because the line he has in now is the last line that most likely the doctors will be able to get in because of all the blood clots that he has in his chest from the central lines. It is a big step in the right direction but once again, we cannot forget and wonder about the what ifs... The amazing part of this is that for the first time ever it will be so much easier to get him dressed, bathes, and to give him the chance to live a normal life without having to worry about pulling the picc line out!!!!

Anthony you are my hero!! I am so amazed at how far you have come since your transplant!!

Nimby (Not in my back yard)

H Thank goodness for the reminders that we are forgiven. This past Friday I was reading a book called "Renting Lacy" that really shows the life and troubles and life that a girl goes through as she is living the life as a prostitute. it is a heavy book. really good but I caught myself REALLY angry at men. The book points out why prostitution is still existing it is a simple economic term of supply and demand. there are men who desire to have sex so therefore there is a demand for women to full fill that. it caught me completely off guard but I was angry, I was angry at the devil for the liar he is. I still am. I am angry because it is not just a simple matter of supply and demand. I know the faces and the hardships that these women have to go through. simply I am hurting for them I am angry that there are men out there using and abusing women for their body's. These men are all types of different men races, cultures, ages, heights, single, married men, different social economic classes you name it they are out there... and simply I am pissed off that they are out there.

but I know they still need Jesus they t hemselves deserve and need to know the love that Christ has. No one night stand or 20 minutes of pleasure can full fill the lifetime of pain that they are feeling. The loneliness and lust that drives these johns (A john is a person who is seeking to pay money in order for exchange for a sexual act) out there night after night. The person who can change these men is Jesus, I think they seriously need a holy woopin from the heavenly father. I think of the wife's that are at home. wondering where their husbands are. I think of the diseases and pain that those wives are exposed to. the innocent lives that are lost. The family's that are broken because of the reason that drives these johns.

Human trafficking is real it is a BIG issue. it is real it is just not in 3rd world country's it is in America people say NIMBY (Not in my back yard) but I can simply tell you, yes it is. It is our American girls who are mostly involved in the life in America.

My prayer is that God will step on the scorpions and snakes that is out there on the streets and that Prostitution will forever go away in the United states. I believe it could happen. Prayer changes life's, knocks down walls, raises the dead, heals the sick, and many other things that our human. Minds minds can even begin to Image.

Happy 2nd birthday!!!

Dear Anthony,

I remember like it was yesterday hearing about a sweet four month old that was sitting in the hospital. He was a sick baby and the doctors had no idea if he was going to make it. The only chance that he would have to live is if he received a bone marrow transplant. I remember when mommy told me about you I started crying because for some reason I felt your pain and I fell in love with you. I had not seen a picture of you or heard your sweet laugh but Anthony it was in that fudge shop as mommy was telling me about meeting you for the first time. I fell in love with the miracle and life that you were then and still are today.



I got home that night from a weekend retreat and begged mommy to bring me up to the hospital to meet you for the first time. It seemed like it took forever to get there but finally we did. I remember seeing your laugh and smile, the pain you where in was no joke either but you fought hard to stay alive. It did not take long for all of us to fall completely in love with. I mean head over hills you have mommy, daddy, and me wrapped around your fingers, you my dear where simply AMAZING!! no words could express. the time I knew you where going to be a keeper is when daddy and I came to visit and it was so hard to walk away from your hospital room. I felt guilty leaving you. it wasn't soon after that that the doctors and nurses started to ask when we where going to start spending the night with you. it didn't take long Anthony, mommy and daddy worked out their schedules so that one of them would be up at the hospital with you at all times. You know whats amazing little man? is that 2 years later, whenever you go into the hospital we work it out so that someone is with you while you stay in the hospital!!!



In a matter of days you changed our family! it was still not easy seeing you so sick. Having to go through chemotherapy and take all the medicines to keep you alive. We knew of the transplant you would have to have but we took you in because we knew you needed a family, but really Anthony we saw you and could not walk away from you, we loved with a love that can only come from a loving God. we loved you because we knew God was calling you to be in our family. we also loved you because who couldn't you were seriously the cutest little guy!!



Looking at you two years later brings tears to my eyes thinking about the first days that you came to be in our family. It is amazing to see how such an AMAZING God could entrust us to such a fragile and precious gift. I am amazed and thankful to be your big sister, in so many ways I feel like you have taught me lessons. I also can not deny the fact that I love it when you call my name! or when you put your hands up in the air waving them like you just don't care!!! wanting to be picked up... I also could not love more the fact that you love pajamas and have recently found where your pj's are in your dresser and bring them to us to put on you. I also could not love more the contagious laugh and smile that you have. when you tell us to be quite, you put you finger in your nose and say "SHHHH"... whenever something happens that you don't like you say "Darn it" or just in general to anything that happens..... or when we ask you questions you actually know what we are talking about and can respond with a simply "yeah" or "No" in the sweetest voice....



what am I trying to say? I love you Anthony Wesley and I am so glad that you have been brought into our family through adoption there is no other way I would have wanted to meet you!! I wish you never had to go through all that pain and sickness but Anthony you have fought the roughest battle of your life and made it!! so keep living life and I pray that one day you will become the young man that God has created you to be.



Happy 2nd Birthday!!


Love,
big sister

good news!!!

I heard some news...I thought I would share



The word is unofficial..



but rumor has it



that this Four year old



Is going To



Be adopted by my parents!!!

I will dance,

I will dance like David danced!!

that's all I can say no more, no less....... can't go into details yet...but lets just say for the first time in MONTHS I feel a sense of relief...I felt burdens be lifted off my back....

Can I just say, God is so good??

I cant wait to post about probably the most amazing news!!! :)
if all goes well and the plans do not change.....
God is still good even if things don't go as planned...

why one should not pole dance

so last Thursday I had to stay at school late to make a long story late I ended up wandering through scary downtown Seattle to the ministry, where I volunteer out...........and I was with my two supervisors for the late night program...... well we where talking about how now days girls in college are doing pole dancing and it is the "Cool" thing.....apparently both of them have seen this video before and got on the computer ......and let me tell you all three of us where laughing so HARD !!!

This video is HILARIOUS!!

Happy belated 4th birthday

Dear Mr, Feisty

How can I express my love for you little man? As I look at you I see a little boy who has been restored and healed in ways that only God can do! you came to us so small and petite, you are still small but your heart is BIG!!!! you show me what it is to be joyful

when you came to us you would barely talk and now your words amazing me! what you know and express everyday brings a smile to my face!! your new saying is "Lindsay I need you" and of course I can not deny that!!! because you are just so cute! Oh and who could not smile when you put your arms around me and give me hug saying " my Sissy" yes you are a charmer!!

You are such a Joy I have enjoyed being a part of your life and to witness a miracle happen right in front of my eyes... My prayer for you buddy is that God can continue to heal and protect you. Mostly that God can continue that work that he has started in you at such a young age.. we don't know whether we will be your forever family but we will always pray for you and think of you no matter what happens. The one thing I want for you is that you grow up to be a man of God and you would give your whole heart to him. Feisty, I pray that you will lay all your burdens down at the foot of the cross...

Happy Birthday sweet boy!!!

Love you,
Sister