To be honest I have been feeling down.. I am missing my brother and not knowing exactly what had been going on with him until today they finally started to treat him for GVHD after two weeks of being in the hospital... I am feeling down about serving with LNO and all the negativity I am receiving from others.... I miss EV I really do... My friends are having problems with their health and personal lives that it is weighing me down... I haven't been to church in 3 weeks because honestly I did not want to go but rather be at home and rest and be with mr, feisty's sister while she was here...also with church there was an issue and hurt feelings but thankfully I hope got resolved today in Gods timing not mine..I was just about to e-mail the person and ask that we meet together but I ran into her at wal-mart God's timing is better than my timing...not to mention starting spring quarter is not always easy with having a baby in the hospital... watching Mr, Fesity's sister leave has not been easy by any means.. all these situation are going on at once and I don't know how to process yet..
There is so much going on I feel like How can an amazing and grateful God use someone like me, broken and a mess.. it is so easy to act like everything is okay..but really it is not.. I cant hide that anymore.. I came to the conclusion that I am sick of myself... I am sick of my sinful human ways.... I am tired of only relying on my human strength because it has not gotten me far... I am sick of "Acting" like I am a super christian because honestly I am not...
I need to decrease so that he can increase in my life.
I need to spend more one on one time with God, I need to spend time before God and allow his word to meditate in my heart, to be honest I have not been doing that lately.. I love serving on LNO but it is hard to be out there and to see a reality of the lives that these precious women are living.. I want to cry out to God for the lives of these women and to see their lives transformed..
I went to a concert last Thursday and the lead singer of Mercy me was saying that it is so great that Jesus Loves us right where we are and accepts right where we are at.. such a simple message but powerful word.. I am so glad that I know a loving God that even in my mess and human ways he calls us his own...
At the concert was one of the new songs by Mercy me "All of Creation", it is an Amazing Song...and speaks to so much of what I am going through...
Monday, March 29, 2010
Saturday, March 27, 2010
I get it..
"It doesn't matter who it is: You need to set them free and See how God can bring them back into your life."
It is so hard to let people go and see them move on. it was this time last year that I had to do just that. I wrote about this particular situation last year...Tonight I was on Facebook and I ran into a comment that someone posted.. and it stuck out to me... I immediately thought of EV.... I miss her but yet I have moved on and been healed by a loving and powerful God.It makes perfect sense...My human ways have caused me to loose one of my closest friends, my human ways of fighting and trying to communicate have failed... It is a reminder that God can do anything that my human mind is not capable of conceiving, if I choose to let go and see him work... it is that letting go and completely trusting God that someday this situation will be dealt with, that good will come out of this horrible ending to a friendship...
It is so hard to let people go and see them move on. it was this time last year that I had to do just that. I wrote about this particular situation last year...Tonight I was on Facebook and I ran into a comment that someone posted.. and it stuck out to me... I immediately thought of EV.... I miss her but yet I have moved on and been healed by a loving and powerful God.It makes perfect sense...My human ways have caused me to loose one of my closest friends, my human ways of fighting and trying to communicate have failed... It is a reminder that God can do anything that my human mind is not capable of conceiving, if I choose to let go and see him work... it is that letting go and completely trusting God that someday this situation will be dealt with, that good will come out of this horrible ending to a friendship...
Monday, March 22, 2010
Randomness...
SO much has happened lately!! this is just random information of whats been happening
1, It is OFFICIAL!! Mr, Feisty is going to be adopted by my parents they have a big meeting coming up soon... he is such an amazing little boy and I will be so happy once he is my forever brother!!!! My parents are changing his name mostly for security reason... but his new name is CUTE!!! and fits him alot better
2, Mr, Feisty's sister moved to the mid-west last week...it was sad to see her go but I kept reminding myself that this was not a goodbye but a see ya later!! the day before she left we went on a girls date downtown and went to Ivar's and the aquarium..since well there is NO water where she lives..... I don't get how people can go their whole lives not living by any source of water.. when she left I have her a kiss and she insisted that if she was not going to attach herself to me and refuse to go with our social worker that I had a spin her around 5 times... so of course I did and then two extra because that is how old she is and because she is a special girl!! I have fallen in love with her in the three months that we had her on weekends.. I miss her but I know one day we will meet again and I will be able to give her hugs and spins!!!
3, This adopting Feisty has brought into out family an extended family and it is simple that our lives will never be the same.. we talk with feisty's sister at lease once per a week if not more.... these last couple times I have talked with feisty's aunt she is a nice lady... hopefully they can figure out skype soon so the kids can see each other....
4, I am so close to graduating college!!! I have 3 more quarters left!!! I will be done fall quarter... I cant believe it that I am almost done it seems like yesterday that I started..life is going by so fast I never thought I would make it through collage, the high school I went to did not prepare me at all to do the level of work that would be needed for collage. after three years I have it down pretty well!!! if I am not done fall quarter then it will be spring. my plans after that are to take maybe one quarter off and just rest and be with my family... but to also take time away from my busy life and reflect on where God desires for me to go next in life. I am thinking of this time as a sabbatical it has been a hard 4 years and more than ever I feel like I need to rest and recharge...
After that time of rest and renewal I am planning on attending community collage for about a year to get my Chemical dependency certificate and to complete a couple of classes that I will need for graduate school. when done with this I hope to work and gain some experience in the field.. after a couple of years I want to get my masters in Social work. this is what the plan is but I know all that it often does not go this way..I went to university to get my degree in Social work and ended up getting a degree in Sociology....
5, Anthony is back in the hospital after being out for three months..and the doctors have no idea what is going on..and honestly this stinks... I pray and hope that they find out soon I am praying that they do a biopsy of his gut and bottom..but we shall see..hopefully SOON
Lindsay
1, It is OFFICIAL!! Mr, Feisty is going to be adopted by my parents they have a big meeting coming up soon... he is such an amazing little boy and I will be so happy once he is my forever brother!!!! My parents are changing his name mostly for security reason... but his new name is CUTE!!! and fits him alot better
2, Mr, Feisty's sister moved to the mid-west last week...it was sad to see her go but I kept reminding myself that this was not a goodbye but a see ya later!! the day before she left we went on a girls date downtown and went to Ivar's and the aquarium..since well there is NO water where she lives..... I don't get how people can go their whole lives not living by any source of water.. when she left I have her a kiss and she insisted that if she was not going to attach herself to me and refuse to go with our social worker that I had a spin her around 5 times... so of course I did and then two extra because that is how old she is and because she is a special girl!! I have fallen in love with her in the three months that we had her on weekends.. I miss her but I know one day we will meet again and I will be able to give her hugs and spins!!!
3, This adopting Feisty has brought into out family an extended family and it is simple that our lives will never be the same.. we talk with feisty's sister at lease once per a week if not more.... these last couple times I have talked with feisty's aunt she is a nice lady... hopefully they can figure out skype soon so the kids can see each other....
4, I am so close to graduating college!!! I have 3 more quarters left!!! I will be done fall quarter... I cant believe it that I am almost done it seems like yesterday that I started..life is going by so fast I never thought I would make it through collage, the high school I went to did not prepare me at all to do the level of work that would be needed for collage. after three years I have it down pretty well!!! if I am not done fall quarter then it will be spring. my plans after that are to take maybe one quarter off and just rest and be with my family... but to also take time away from my busy life and reflect on where God desires for me to go next in life. I am thinking of this time as a sabbatical it has been a hard 4 years and more than ever I feel like I need to rest and recharge...
After that time of rest and renewal I am planning on attending community collage for about a year to get my Chemical dependency certificate and to complete a couple of classes that I will need for graduate school. when done with this I hope to work and gain some experience in the field.. after a couple of years I want to get my masters in Social work. this is what the plan is but I know all that it often does not go this way..I went to university to get my degree in Social work and ended up getting a degree in Sociology....
5, Anthony is back in the hospital after being out for three months..and the doctors have no idea what is going on..and honestly this stinks... I pray and hope that they find out soon I am praying that they do a biopsy of his gut and bottom..but we shall see..hopefully SOON
Lindsay
Wednesday, March 03, 2010
Its march???
oh my..
I cannot believe how fast February went by...
that means finals in 2 weeks....AHHHH
I just realized that it was February 2 weeks ago...oops. :)
but today is the day that we make it official and find out for sure if my parents are going to be adopting Mr, Feisty...to be honest I am nervous but I don't think at this point they would throw a curve ball and send him afar to his family in the mid-west... but then again it is the state of Washington...
These next few weekends are going to go and come... Mr fiesty's sister has been coming on the weekends for visit...and I have pretty much fallen in love....but besides that she is moving to her aunt and uncles in the midwest..in order for Mr Feisty to get to spend some quality time together she has been visiting every weekend for the past two weeks...she leaves the 18th of march which is....cough....my last final of winter quarter...Sometimes I don't know how I do it all but I do by the grace of God!! and maybe a little starbucks every now and then....
I cannot believe how fast February went by...
that means finals in 2 weeks....AHHHH
I just realized that it was February 2 weeks ago...oops. :)
but today is the day that we make it official and find out for sure if my parents are going to be adopting Mr, Feisty...to be honest I am nervous but I don't think at this point they would throw a curve ball and send him afar to his family in the mid-west... but then again it is the state of Washington...
These next few weekends are going to go and come... Mr fiesty's sister has been coming on the weekends for visit...and I have pretty much fallen in love....but besides that she is moving to her aunt and uncles in the midwest..in order for Mr Feisty to get to spend some quality time together she has been visiting every weekend for the past two weeks...she leaves the 18th of march which is....cough....my last final of winter quarter...Sometimes I don't know how I do it all but I do by the grace of God!! and maybe a little starbucks every now and then....
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