Your love

Yesterday as I was driving Brandon Heath was in the local christion station and he played a song called "Your love" and let me tell you it is an AMAZING song! You can visit his website by clicking: here

What strikes me is that everything that I have gone through my life, it all boils down to the fact that all we need is God's love, and that should be enough

God's love is the only thing that matters!

In one week I am going here:

Next Friday at 11pm, I am headed to this place:





I am excited to go to this place to get some much needed rest and renewal time... This trip came unexpectedly and for some reason I decided that I did want to go to this wonderful place!!!


oh I cannot wait to lay on the beach and have no agenda!! :)

Introducing for the first time!!

I am proud to introduce for the first time...




Christopher Jordan James
In our home April 17, 2008
Adopted August 20, 2010

we love you sweet boy!!
Today will forever be your special day because we never thought that it would happen little did we know that God had other plans and a complete miracle happend!! we are forever blessed to have you as a member of our family!!

I love you!

Big sister Lindsay!

The miracle of Mr, Feisty!

Dear Mr, Feisty-

Tonight I find myself overjoyed with the fact that today you will become my forever brother! Although from the moment I saw you asleep in the social workers car I looked at mommy and mouthed "He is Beautiful" and you where and still are.. Although it is not my job to tell your story and of the pain you came from, I cannot deny the hurt and sadness that I feel for your birth parents, my Joy is causing someone else pain, I pray for your birth mom as I hurt for her but I know God has her heart and I pray that she will find new life in Jesus Christ. The little helpless boy I saw in the car is not the boy I know today.

In the past two years Mr, Feisty you have had your way of fitting right into our family you where a natural of just coming into our home and stealing our hearts I mean how could we help but fall in love with your sweetness? I remember the first few days we had with you, they where rough but yet without even talking to you we knew that in those first two years of your life you lived a nightmare that no child should have to live it took time to earn your trust and love but when we did there was no denying the fact that I was completely head over heels in love with you!!

Mr Feisty you bring so much joy and excitement into our lives! without you our family is not complete and today at 1:30pm it will become official that you will be in our family forever. I want you to know that as your sister I will promise to be there for you and I am willing to fly across the country with you so that you can maintain contact with D and S, your two older sisters. In fact I look forward to the years of being able to go with you to the Midwest because just as you have stolen my heart so has S. :)....in fact your S and D will always be your family no matter what, the life and blood bond you have with them cant be torn up and I pray that one day you will understand why we wanted to keep you here with us in Seattle and they are in the Midwest. we fought a hard and long fight to be able to come to your adoption day!!

You Amaze me Mr, Feisty! and I cannot believe that the day has finally come that we have waited for...

I love you!
Your forever sister,
Lindsay

LNO

one of my passions in life is to work with women who are involved in Prostitution. Girls who are marginalized and looked down upon in society. when I am out on the streets standing on the same as New Horizons has for the past 10 years. It is the corner that I see more pain and hurt than I have ever seen but it is the place that God has called me to be. To be able to enter into the pain and suffering of these girls is not easy they do not see themselves as victims instead, some girls want to get out of this lifestyle while other are trying to chase that fast road and achieve the ultimate dream of living the high life. Some of the girls themselves strive to become pimps themselves. some of the girls come to our corner when they are being chased by another pimp or Johns that are on the streets. Some girls come to get supplies to protect themselves from getting sexual transmitted disease or to become pregnant. whatever the reason is, the girls are still out there on the streets trying to live after a dream that will not come true, the high life is a lie. The manipulation and abuse that these women experience in unbelievable.

This is a part of my life where I am most passionate and feel closest to G-d by being able to enter into their lives for the moments that they are with us on the corner is a moment where we have the chance to offer the hope and salvation of Jesus, we are not forcing him on anyone by condemning their lifestyle but rather it is by our love and actions that they see who Jesus is and desire change for their own lives. Many girls don't want to be in this lifestyle but they know no other way it is not easier to integrate back into a society that has condemned you and when a girl wants to get a job it is hard because of their criminal records or any line of work they may get includes either a bar, casino or strip club.

These girls are girls from all different backgrounds it is surprising there is no typical stereotype in fact the college girls that are going to clubs often look more slutty than the girls who are involved in prostitution. These girls are our daughters, nieces and granddaughters. Some of the girls go to church on a regular basis, some girls are moms, some girls are going to school to attain a college education. There is no specific profile that can fit all of the girls their stories and backgrounds are. The girls that are most vulnerable are young girls some girls aged 12 are deceived into the lifestyle. Girls from all different backgrounds rich, poor, black, white, Asian young and old are involved. The fact is that parents need to be more informed about the issue of domestic sex trafficking, the reality is that any girl has the potential to get involved in the lifestyle, if they do not know what to signs to look out for. when I a older man is telling them that they love you so much and will give you anything, the girl will possibly fall in love and become emotional and physically dependant on this man and when he ask her to get involved in the lifestyle, she is most likely to say yes or the man will use other forms of manipulation and abuse to persuade her to be involved in the lifestyle.

The reality that I see Friday nights is different from what I live every other day of my life but it is the place where I see and experience a love for these girls that can only come from G-d. It is the place that I with I did not exist but it does and as long as it does I will be involved with working and loving on these girls in the way of Jesus Christ.

Adoption #3

Mr, Feisty's Adoption date is next Friday! he is an amazing four year old and I cannot wait to officially introduce Mr, Feisty although he has been in our care it is amazing to know that he is going to stay here forever!! he fits into our family so well.. it is hard not to fall in love with him

I am so excited and I cant help but have a tear in my eye as I think of the journey that he has been on. I remember the small fragile 2 year old and today Feisty is a strong and yes still small but simply AMAZING boy! most of all I am glad that I will be his forever sister!

I love you Mr, Feisty!!

oh and in the midst of preparing for his adoption Anthony made it home yesterday!! after 140 days!

Lindsay

dang it..

As sweet Anthony loves to say when things don't go his was...... Dang it...

We are not coming home today due to the household being hit with a case of the 24 hour flu....... I had it Saturday morning to Sunday morning... and today charle, my mom and Mr, feisty have it..

We are hoping to bring Anthony home next Monday after the house is clean and sanitized with bleach from the floor to the roof.

DANG IT

The last 6 weeks...

Wow!! what a past month and a half it has been! I started this summer off taking 12 credits at my college everything was going great! I was going to accomplish my summer goal of completing my greatest fear.... Statistics... everything started out fantastic!!! In fact I loved that class, my other class was also amazing and I loved it to be honest my schedule for summer quarter could not been any better... it is when everything is going great and you don't listen to that small still voice telling you not to take summer classes, but I did it anyways



About a week after I started summer classes I came home from school and sat on the couch, within five minutes my father called on the phone stating that my mom and I needed to arrive at the hospital because we needed to make some decisions about Anthony's... let me tell you we stormed out the door crying and driving to the hospital..it felt like 20 hours to drive 9 miles to Seattle Children's hospital. My dad sounded scared but would not tell us what was happening...






By this point Anthony had been in the Intensive care unit for a month due to the puffing up in his face from the blood clots in his chest, so much that we almost lost Anthony if had not been in-tubated when he had then within 30 minutes he would of passed, test and ultrasounds showed that Anthony's blood veins where clotted off but they had some medicines that the doctors could try but they where not without risk... the first medicine is known as TPA, which it it like roto rooter for your blood vessels cleaning and breaking down the clots. The tpa worked in his legs and some with helping to allow a small amount of blood flow to go through the blood clots. Anthony had just got off of his second round of TPA and we where under the impression that morning that if the TPA didn't work then we where faced with having to sign off on the surgery that Anthony would have a 50/50 chance of making but most likely he would pass on the table, we knew this before showing up to the hospital but the reality of how sick he was would sink in.



when we arrived at the hospital my father pulled out a picture that showed Anthony's veins and the blood clots where still completely blocked the flow of blood and the collateral veins that where forming but then closing off..what we were looking at was a picture showing us that Anthony would not be able to sustain or live life without a miracle..that night was a hard and sad night... our pastors, friend Becky, and aunt and Uncle came to visit Anthony.. we prayed over his body laying our hands on him asking God for our miracle... Then the Doctor came and my parents have known her since we first got Anthony placed into our care with a Tear in her eye she said that she did not think that Anthony would make it, that she had been wrong before but she was pretty sure he was going to pass on... we cried and cried and prayed...The Amazing thing about God is that in that room I felt a peace and presence of God that I have never felt before, he was there in that room holding my family up as we wept and cried over sweet Anthony, who was fighting and not wanting to stay sedated, in fact he woke up saying mama and Elmo. My mom wanted to leave the ICU unit and visit the Cancer care unit to see if the nurses that have taken care of Anthony where there, there are a few nurse that have taken care of him since day one of him being diagnosed with HLH, it is also rare that all of them are working on the same shift but when we walked in within minutes all those nurses that we have grown to love where surrounding us and hugging us the tears that they let fall down their face where healing and touching to us. The tears that the Doctors and hospital staff cried showed us that Anthony was more than a patient to them but rather the wanted the same as we did, For Anthony to be able to live a life! to be able to walk out of the hospital and go home... In the past two year after all the times Anthony had been sick and the amazing strength that he has shown, these blood clots where going to take him? it was unfair....





The team set up another care meeting for 3pm the following day. My mom and I came home and tried to rest but we where at the hospital early that morning with Starbucks coffee in hand. It was on that Tuesday that I realized there was no way I could continue with summer quarter and prayed and prayed about what I should do and without a doubt in my mind did I end up dropping summer quarter, I had a letter from the Anthony's Social worker and Doctor. One of the girls on the Cancer floor named Louisa whom my mom and Anthony have gotten to know on the floor and loves all the little baby's. my mom wanted Louisa to be able to say goodbye to Anthony so we snuck her in the back to say goodbye, when I saw her cry and weep over my brother I saw a bond and love between them that still makes me cry, I will never forget sweet Louisa in that moment that was so tender, as she said goodbye I stayed with Anthony and just held his hand, crying out to God "WHY"... all I could do was look at his frail body and ask "WHY?" he has overcome transplant and was doing to sooooo well with all his transplant...it is and was soo unfair.... during rounds that day my parents made it clear to the doctors that they where not wanting to give up on Anthony and did not want them to either... we wanted to give Anthony any fighting chance..the tears of my father touched everyone there.. the Tears of my dad who for so long held up my mom as she cried touched me... the Tears of my dad where a fortress and showed everyone there we where not wanting to give up.






The day went on in a fog, we asked for Anthony's Favorite nurse to be at the care givers meeting and she was given a no pay...The love that Amy has for Anthony is beyond words and the love we have for her is beyond word... In so many ways she has become more that a nurse she has become a part of our family, a rock and a strong voice in advocating for Anthony's health. Another person that we requested was Dr, Anne who has also become a strong voice and has known Anthony since day one.. the commitment that she has to Anthony shows, she came in on her day off. As the care givers meeting came about we had no idea what was going to be said. when we first arrived there was a tension and heart ache that surrounded the table we all went around and stated who we where and all the different Doctors that stated that they could not do the surgery without him most likely passing on.







Then our hope came Dr, Mathews the top Hematologist at Children's said that she had been in contact with a colleague in Denver Colorado and together they created a care plan, the plan would be to give Anthony a drug called Fondaparinux that would be given by a shot every day and every other day he would be given some aspirin to thin his blood. The hopes in this treatment is to allow his collateral blood veins to form and mature without closing off. although little is known about this treatment Dr, Mathews colleague suggested this because of her work with other children who had clotting issue and it had worked. This treatment is not without risk.


On Anthony's Caring bridge I posted a post about the day and I ended it with this:

"God is still in the business of making miracles and although his road is long from over the hope we have for Anthony is enough to keep fighting."



In six weeks Anthony has made leaps and bound in his progress! he left the ICU within days of being extubated, he was talking, laughing and blowing kisses.. the strength and courage that Anthony has is amazing! To be able to hold him and know that we are on our last chance but yet so far we believe that the medicines it working... and the best news is.....


After 138 days in the hospital Anthony is coming home tomorrow!!



It is true, God is still in the business of miracle making



He is still here to prove it.