(From the photoshoot, his PERFECT FEET)

A-man is home once again!! he was not a happy camper today.. we did everything but he was definitely being a chemo baby.. but tomorrow he will be acting happy and get to see and enjoy his two front teeth that have recently come in!!! Tonight I have been pondering the question, Am I scared for A-man to get healed? because if he does we have no idea what will happen to him, and I have to admit that if he did get healed from his disease and didn't need a transplant, no more chemo, what would happen to him??? would he have to leave us and return to his hometown? would my parents not be able to keep him? it is all the what ifs, and simply pure selfishness of wanting to keep this precious baby that God has blessed us with, it is for my own self pity that I haven't fully prayed for healing over this baby, but I cant do that. I know God can heal this baby, and to place him in Gods hands knowing that whatever happens in A-man's is in God's will.......... so Now I am going to Pray for healing and know that God can heal A-man from HLH... and any other illnesses that he has.. I know that whatever happens God is the same God no MATTER what happens with A-man, and yes I do wish for him not to have to feel the pain, this little guy has been through so much, from talking to the doctors telling us that when he went to the hospital that they thought he was not going to make it, A-man is a fighter, he is a sweet baby, and I honestly don't want to see his medical bill.. when we my mom found out about A-man, he had been in the hospital all by himself for 3 months... now he is a different baby, he likes to be held certain ways, bounced, does not like to have his diapers dirty, he loves his wubnub http://www.twobluepeas.com/m-20-wubbanub.aspx, oh and that has to be a certain way, staring at his perfect baby feet, him reaching up to have his hand kissed, the way that he smiles it melts your heart and makes you forget about the Chemo that just happened the week before. this baby truly has the hand of God on his life, he is simply and wonderful by baby brother that I dont want to let go of, but I needto put all of my wants and needs and put them Gods hands and to begin to pray for total healing over this Baby.........

on another note I has a meeting with my academic advisor and we talked about everything that happened with my college mentor and it was a really good talked she told me I was not wrong for not wanting to work with her anymore, I am truly blessed to Go to the University that I go to and to find such a strong Christian to talk to. we talked for two hours about everything that was going on, from what classes, who we are voting for, getting into the school of social work, my brothers, last summer. it was a meeting that truly made my willingness to stay at the UW and to not run away because I felt violated from one person..... but this week hopefully I get to have a meeting with the person who is in charge of my scholarship,and talk about my possible options of what to do.. I truly feel like I want to stay at UW and wait it out........... Because God did not give me the vision of attending the UW to just quit like that...

So this month my Goal is to continually pray for A-man and for God to work in his life and to be thankfull to God for everything that he has given me and my family as we continue on this road of being a foster family... I just realized that is has been exactly 2 years since we started this journey and have had 14 babys in the process!!!