Sweet Baby I miss you laughter and smile. Fly high sweet baby boy.
Thursday, March 31, 2011
Wednesday, March 23, 2011
The beginning of the end!
I can see the light at the end of this very long tunnel.
I am excited without a doubt that I will be a college graduate very soon! I cannot believe that I was able to overcome the many obstacles that have come my way. This journey for the last four years has not been easy. I started college wanting to get a degree in Social work and soon through a series of events changed my major to sociology.
My family was still foster parents and we met sweet Anthony, in no way would I ever take that back, but it was hard staying in school while my brother was sick. So many times I would cry because it was to hard to balance family life and school life, but I knew that Anthony nor my parents would not want me to quit school, so I toughed it out.
I took a summer quarter to catch up on my credits and added on a few extra classes to catch up. I dropped the one class I wanted to take, Dinosaurs, but it was not as interesting as I thought it would be. I would of been done this quarter but I dropped my summer classes from last summer because Anthony was so sick in the PICU and we didn't know what was going to happen and I was taking statistics a class that I need for graduation. Little did I know that last summer was a gift from God, to be able to spend time with my brother last summer is time that I will never forget and forever be thankful for. Summer 2010 is a time in my life that is very sacred and I tear up just thinking about it.
September 29th was the first day of my senior year but it was also the day that sweet Anthony passed away. I had a day to rest then I started in full swing. soon God began to work in my life and moved the mountains to allow for my to go to Graduate school. I applied and knew that if God wanted me to go that I would, so I did. 7 days after applying I was accepted to Northwest University. I applied to graduate spring quarter. Winter quarter began and I took the dreaded Statistics, it was a rough and LOOOONG quarter of trying to make it, somehow in the end I passed my stats class and a huge relief and realization that I am actually going to graduate set in yesterday.
So much of my educational career has been centered around Anthony. I wish he was here so that I could give him a hug and thank him for keeping me going and showing me to be strong, even when I wanted to quit school.I know that he will be watching from heaven and have the best view out of anyone there!
I can't wait to walk across that stage! and receive my diploma from the UW and begin Graduate school only three months later...Some may call me crazy but I have a little brother who is watching over me and who showed me a courage and strength like no other. I want to honor Anthony and remember him and I know by living life and allowing God to lead that way I am doing that. I had no plans of going to grad school right away, but for some reason God had other plans, for me to attend this amazing school for the next two years!
I am excited without a doubt that I will be a college graduate very soon! I cannot believe that I was able to overcome the many obstacles that have come my way. This journey for the last four years has not been easy. I started college wanting to get a degree in Social work and soon through a series of events changed my major to sociology.
My family was still foster parents and we met sweet Anthony, in no way would I ever take that back, but it was hard staying in school while my brother was sick. So many times I would cry because it was to hard to balance family life and school life, but I knew that Anthony nor my parents would not want me to quit school, so I toughed it out.
I took a summer quarter to catch up on my credits and added on a few extra classes to catch up. I dropped the one class I wanted to take, Dinosaurs, but it was not as interesting as I thought it would be. I would of been done this quarter but I dropped my summer classes from last summer because Anthony was so sick in the PICU and we didn't know what was going to happen and I was taking statistics a class that I need for graduation. Little did I know that last summer was a gift from God, to be able to spend time with my brother last summer is time that I will never forget and forever be thankful for. Summer 2010 is a time in my life that is very sacred and I tear up just thinking about it.
September 29th was the first day of my senior year but it was also the day that sweet Anthony passed away. I had a day to rest then I started in full swing. soon God began to work in my life and moved the mountains to allow for my to go to Graduate school. I applied and knew that if God wanted me to go that I would, so I did. 7 days after applying I was accepted to Northwest University. I applied to graduate spring quarter. Winter quarter began and I took the dreaded Statistics, it was a rough and LOOOONG quarter of trying to make it, somehow in the end I passed my stats class and a huge relief and realization that I am actually going to graduate set in yesterday.
So much of my educational career has been centered around Anthony. I wish he was here so that I could give him a hug and thank him for keeping me going and showing me to be strong, even when I wanted to quit school.I know that he will be watching from heaven and have the best view out of anyone there!
I can't wait to walk across that stage! and receive my diploma from the UW and begin Graduate school only three months later...Some may call me crazy but I have a little brother who is watching over me and who showed me a courage and strength like no other. I want to honor Anthony and remember him and I know by living life and allowing God to lead that way I am doing that. I had no plans of going to grad school right away, but for some reason God had other plans, for me to attend this amazing school for the next two years!
Friday, March 11, 2011
Why would you want to do this?
Many times during the day I think about Anthony and the sweet baby that he was. He is never far from my thoughts and mind. I was thinking to myself today, why would my family choose to adopt a baby who had a rare disease, HLH and who would require a transplant to even have a chance of living?
In many ways the we didn't choose to adopt Anthony but rather God placed touched my moms heart and she answered the call.We were able to see beyond the medical tubes, poles, medicines but rather we saw Anthony as Anthony. When we first took Anthony into our care he was sitting in the hospital by himself. but I need to make one thing clear, it wasn't because his birth family didn't care that is not the case, in fact his uncle did visit him, it was because they lived on the other side of the state and his birth mom had her own health issues she had to deal with. I personally love and respect Anthony's birth family, it brings a tear to my eye thinking about the love I have for them. I know without a doubt they love Anthony, even to the point of being willing to give him up for Adoption.
During the time that Anthony was in the hospital by himself there where many people who were involved with the care of Anthony but another foster mom T starting to advocate on Anthony's behalf to get foster parents for Anthony. The doctors and staff did not think that he needed a family because the chances of him living where not very high, T didn't give up in fact she and her family would sneak into his his room to rock and hold this sweet baby. The nurses would break rules and hold him singing songs and loving on this sweet baby. finally it was approved through doctors stating that he did need a family. Finally Anthony was placed on a referral list that goes out to social workers and foster parents.
At this time my mom has decided to quit her Job as director and wanted to be a stay at home mom for Charlie and Christopher but also to take in more babies. As she was looking at this list she saw 9 baby's who needed to be placed and a four month old little boy stayed on that list and she kept thinking about him. So my mom called our social worker and stated tat she wanted to look more into this four month old baby boy. Our social work J, was really concerned and did not want to place him with us because he was so sick and we knew that but yet she kept persisting that my parent go and meet this baby. Finally my mom and dad went to go visit this baby boy in the hospital and to say that they fell in love is not enough, this baby captured our hearts and we loved him immediately. I remember holding Anthony for the first time, he was only four kilos but the smile melted my heart.
It didn't take long for my parents to officially say yes, that we wanted to be his foster family. then a few days after my parents committed that Doctors started to ask when we were going to start staying with him in the hospital. Well that didn't take long either. The next night after they asked that, my mom stayed the night with Anthony and my parents made an amazing schedule to make sure that someone was with Anthony at all time while he was inpatient at Children's and someone was at home taking care of Charlie and Christopher.
In many ways the we didn't choose to adopt Anthony but rather God placed touched my moms heart and she answered the call.We were able to see beyond the medical tubes, poles, medicines but rather we saw Anthony as Anthony. When we first took Anthony into our care he was sitting in the hospital by himself. but I need to make one thing clear, it wasn't because his birth family didn't care that is not the case, in fact his uncle did visit him, it was because they lived on the other side of the state and his birth mom had her own health issues she had to deal with. I personally love and respect Anthony's birth family, it brings a tear to my eye thinking about the love I have for them. I know without a doubt they love Anthony, even to the point of being willing to give him up for Adoption.
During the time that Anthony was in the hospital by himself there where many people who were involved with the care of Anthony but another foster mom T starting to advocate on Anthony's behalf to get foster parents for Anthony. The doctors and staff did not think that he needed a family because the chances of him living where not very high, T didn't give up in fact she and her family would sneak into his his room to rock and hold this sweet baby. The nurses would break rules and hold him singing songs and loving on this sweet baby. finally it was approved through doctors stating that he did need a family. Finally Anthony was placed on a referral list that goes out to social workers and foster parents.
At this time my mom has decided to quit her Job as director and wanted to be a stay at home mom for Charlie and Christopher but also to take in more babies. As she was looking at this list she saw 9 baby's who needed to be placed and a four month old little boy stayed on that list and she kept thinking about him. So my mom called our social worker and stated tat she wanted to look more into this four month old baby boy. Our social work J, was really concerned and did not want to place him with us because he was so sick and we knew that but yet she kept persisting that my parent go and meet this baby. Finally my mom and dad went to go visit this baby boy in the hospital and to say that they fell in love is not enough, this baby captured our hearts and we loved him immediately. I remember holding Anthony for the first time, he was only four kilos but the smile melted my heart.
It didn't take long for my parents to officially say yes, that we wanted to be his foster family. then a few days after my parents committed that Doctors started to ask when we were going to start staying with him in the hospital. Well that didn't take long either. The next night after they asked that, my mom stayed the night with Anthony and my parents made an amazing schedule to make sure that someone was with Anthony at all time while he was inpatient at Children's and someone was at home taking care of Charlie and Christopher.
We endured many months of Chemotherapy, Hospital stays, Transplant, medicines, late nights, surgery after surgery. When my mom first got Anthony my grandma asked my mom what she would do if we he passed away how would we be able to handle it. My mom replied, "We want to show him love so we know they he knew what love was while he was on earth", and that is what my family did. we loved this sweet baby with everything we had and in the end he lived for 2 1/2 year beyond what anyone thought. he was a true joy and had his favorite people his mom-mom, Dad, Sissy, Charwee, Chris, Grandmom, My amy (his favorite nurse and would get mad at her if she was busy on her shift), the three nurses aids he knew by name because he knew they would take him on walks, he aimed to please them!), and many nurses on the Oncology floor, and of course ELMO, big bird and cookie monster.
He touched more hearts and changed the lives of many people, including mine. although he did pass away September 29, 2010, I would do it all over again, no regrets about loving this sweet baby. I still love Anthony and always will. the story of Anthony's life is AMAZING! so many people were involved in his life, it AMAZED ME! In fact I feel so blessed to be Anthony Wesley James sister. I feel like although my heart aches to hold him, the hope of being able to hold him again and play with him is what keeps me going and gives me the courage to move on in life.
He touched more hearts and changed the lives of many people, including mine. although he did pass away September 29, 2010, I would do it all over again, no regrets about loving this sweet baby. I still love Anthony and always will. the story of Anthony's life is AMAZING! so many people were involved in his life, it AMAZED ME! In fact I feel so blessed to be Anthony Wesley James sister. I feel like although my heart aches to hold him, the hope of being able to hold him again and play with him is what keeps me going and gives me the courage to move on in life.
To be asked why would we do this? why would we adopt Anthony, well let me tell sum it up in one word..
LOVE.
LOVE.
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