okay...so I am excited!! it is amazing to be almost done with school... I turned in my application to the sociology major today!! I could not find my way around the new building.... but finally sociology department is at their home!!
I have two classes Sociological theory and a statistics classthat I am not excited to take ... But I might take the soc class next quarter with my friend which will be awesome and will make it easier to have a study buddy!!! and this quarter I am taking a methods class which is proving to be a little difficult.. but I am going to the library tomorrow to study and review all the material... so it should be good.. it is so neat to be at this place I am at..
although it still stings to walk past the social work building and know that I am not doing my undergraduate degree in social work I have a peace about getting a sociology degree.... it would have taken me six years to get my undergraduate degree in social work and I don't have the money to pay for college past five years.... I am excited about the opportunity's that this next 2 or 3 years will bring me...
right now I am just praying that I get in!!! I should know the 19th of October which is already expected to be a great week! more on that later...
Thursday, October 08, 2009
Sunday, September 27, 2009
:)
Today
I am releaved
I am happy
I am free
Today
I realized that although this year has been crap
that
Today
yesterday
and forever
God has a plan for my life
Someone asked what kind ministry I was in, and I said none I am taking a break to find where I was meant to be and where God was leading me
Today
I know God has called me to be with and amonst all people of the earth...to build relationships, be open and honest.... to be like Jesus is to love and not judge.... yes you have to be honest...
Today
I know God has called me to be a university student...
Today
I know that with each of the interactions that I have had with people, he has been there guiding me..
Today
I am a leader, a worshiper, a human, a sinner that has been forgiven
Today
I am saved by God's grace...
I dont need to be part of some particular ministry, I dont need a big t-shirt, or bill board sign..all I need to to pray that God will use me...
the past two times I have pleaded and prayed for God to use me...he has opened the doors... as I have been a willing vessle for him.... and used to glorify him
Today
I am not my own I am serving the king of kings and lord of lords!!
Today,
I shook hands with 4,000 people!! (Just a random fact)! an completly lost my voice...cheering on the incoming freshman!! it was a BLAST!
I am releaved
I am happy
I am free
Today
I realized that although this year has been crap
that
Today
yesterday
and forever
God has a plan for my life
Someone asked what kind ministry I was in, and I said none I am taking a break to find where I was meant to be and where God was leading me
Today
I know God has called me to be with and amonst all people of the earth...to build relationships, be open and honest.... to be like Jesus is to love and not judge.... yes you have to be honest...
Today
I know God has called me to be a university student...
Today
I know that with each of the interactions that I have had with people, he has been there guiding me..
Today
I am a leader, a worshiper, a human, a sinner that has been forgiven
Today
I am saved by God's grace...
I dont need to be part of some particular ministry, I dont need a big t-shirt, or bill board sign..all I need to to pray that God will use me...
the past two times I have pleaded and prayed for God to use me...he has opened the doors... as I have been a willing vessle for him.... and used to glorify him
Today
I am not my own I am serving the king of kings and lord of lords!!
Today,
I shook hands with 4,000 people!! (Just a random fact)! an completly lost my voice...cheering on the incoming freshman!! it was a BLAST!
Wednesday, September 23, 2009
Code blue
Last night Anthony was not feeling good and has a temp of 100.3... . my mom and I knew we needed to get him here because he did have a temperature but he was also shivering, projectile vomiting, and diarah.... with that said it we hopped into the car thinking that we would possibly be admitted but we didn't pack anything, only Clothes for Anthony...
Finally when they admitted him and we got into our room, he was sleeping and he pretty much did so for the whole night but then we started to poop and poop..and begin to quiver his atomic like he wanted to projectile vomit..I just help him, caught his vomit and tried to stay calm as I saw my brother getting sicker and sicker...
at about three in the morning I got up to change probably diaper #23 (not even exaggerating) I saw that he has some blood in his stool, but it wasn't exactly stool it was mucus..I was concerned and called in the nurse she took some blood to see if he needed platelets but he didn't need any at the time...then he just tried to sleep in his crib and pull off diapers..all that to say by about 8:00 when shift changes we just done I began to get even more worried for Anthony...I just had the feeling he was not doing well and was talking to the nurse about what should be done I said he needed some kind of fluid, some zofran, and some other meds... he was laying in his bed all quivered up grunting... the nurse took his blood pressure and it was DANGEROUSLY low..we kind of freaked out a little..so the nurse went and ran into an attending and she came in to check on Anthony...
His blood pressure were still low and she tried to get a hold of the picu people to come and look at him but she couldn’t get a hold of them..I think in that moment she made a scary move but in the end it saved the life of my brother...
She pulled the code blue button, and all of a sudden people came flooding down the halls... running his room was filled up in a matter of seconds..I am not going to lie and say that I was okay..I didn't know what to do..but when she pulled it I thought " OH SHIT, and I need to get a hold of my parents"
I called my mom and she didn't pick up, so I called my home phone then my dad picked up...I was so shaken up that all I could say was "somebody needs to get here NOW, they code blued Anthony.... because he has low blood pressures" and I hung up... on my dad..because even though I couldn't be next to him I needed to be there without a phone...I had no words to say I was literally speechless.... finally the Social worker came in and I called my mom and he talked to her, then my dad called and I was still speechless... and the resident talked to him to let him know what was going on... I just stood there talking to the Social worker, what else was I to do? the nurses and doctors we talking loud, flushing in water syringe after water syringe..it was about 470ML of water...the resident was squeezing in water...putting oxygen on him..lets just say it was controlled chaos...but it was scary...I was shaking, crying..but I had nothing to do all I did was stand there wanting to grab my brother and hold him..but I had to let go and completely truth him in the hands of all the people taking care of him... and trust that God would protect him..it was hard...but I had to...the Chaplin showed up and came into the room and we talked a little... I felt at peace and when I saw her I felt at ease.. ony of the BMT fellows were telling me what was going on and she kept pulling me aside and keeping me updated... we finally got to the elevates and it was pretty packed but the BMT fellow pulled me into the elevator and said that I was the most important person there..I calmed him down and gave him a kiss... then we got to the floor and rushed back to the room and everyone was still flying around and once again the same lady pulled me inside of the room and made sure I was there... it was completely scary..and I don’t remember all the details I just remember standing there, speechless trying to talk but I couldn’t... finally things settled down...but they were going to put in a central line to be able to put in all the fluids and meds that he needs....
looking back on the whole thing I see how all these people came together and did their Job, but there were people who were also there to support the family..it was scary and I can’t say that enough..When we got to the room his blood pressures started to go up and since then he has been stable.....
I am in Awe at how God worked in this whole situation, I don’t know how to explain it or even the words.... but what I do know is that even though Anthony got so sick so fast...that God was ahead of the whole situation and placed people where they need to be in that whole controlled chaos…..
Tonight somehow my parents let me stay the night and didn’t kick me out of the house…but I am here with Anthony, watching and keeping a close eye on him..let me say he looks 100% better than he did this morning..he is a little out of it but he is resting and that is what he needs to get better… I know when we updated facebook people were praying, people from the blogs and people we don’t even know were praying…people may say that medical intervention saved Anthony’s life but he is doing so well tonight, I know God healed and was there with my family in the time of need.. I tried my best to act the best that I could. It’s not every day you see a code blue
When we Got Anthony a couple months later God gave me a verse and it rings true today as it did when I heard the verse:
Finally when they admitted him and we got into our room, he was sleeping and he pretty much did so for the whole night but then we started to poop and poop..and begin to quiver his atomic like he wanted to projectile vomit..I just help him, caught his vomit and tried to stay calm as I saw my brother getting sicker and sicker...
at about three in the morning I got up to change probably diaper #23 (not even exaggerating) I saw that he has some blood in his stool, but it wasn't exactly stool it was mucus..I was concerned and called in the nurse she took some blood to see if he needed platelets but he didn't need any at the time...then he just tried to sleep in his crib and pull off diapers..all that to say by about 8:00 when shift changes we just done I began to get even more worried for Anthony...I just had the feeling he was not doing well and was talking to the nurse about what should be done I said he needed some kind of fluid, some zofran, and some other meds... he was laying in his bed all quivered up grunting... the nurse took his blood pressure and it was DANGEROUSLY low..we kind of freaked out a little..so the nurse went and ran into an attending and she came in to check on Anthony...
His blood pressure were still low and she tried to get a hold of the picu people to come and look at him but she couldn’t get a hold of them..I think in that moment she made a scary move but in the end it saved the life of my brother...
She pulled the code blue button, and all of a sudden people came flooding down the halls... running his room was filled up in a matter of seconds..I am not going to lie and say that I was okay..I didn't know what to do..but when she pulled it I thought " OH SHIT, and I need to get a hold of my parents"
I called my mom and she didn't pick up, so I called my home phone then my dad picked up...I was so shaken up that all I could say was "somebody needs to get here NOW, they code blued Anthony.... because he has low blood pressures" and I hung up... on my dad..because even though I couldn't be next to him I needed to be there without a phone...I had no words to say I was literally speechless.... finally the Social worker came in and I called my mom and he talked to her, then my dad called and I was still speechless... and the resident talked to him to let him know what was going on... I just stood there talking to the Social worker, what else was I to do? the nurses and doctors we talking loud, flushing in water syringe after water syringe..it was about 470ML of water...the resident was squeezing in water...putting oxygen on him..lets just say it was controlled chaos...but it was scary...I was shaking, crying..but I had nothing to do all I did was stand there wanting to grab my brother and hold him..but I had to let go and completely truth him in the hands of all the people taking care of him... and trust that God would protect him..it was hard...but I had to...the Chaplin showed up and came into the room and we talked a little... I felt at peace and when I saw her I felt at ease.. ony of the BMT fellows were telling me what was going on and she kept pulling me aside and keeping me updated... we finally got to the elevates and it was pretty packed but the BMT fellow pulled me into the elevator and said that I was the most important person there..I calmed him down and gave him a kiss... then we got to the floor and rushed back to the room and everyone was still flying around and once again the same lady pulled me inside of the room and made sure I was there... it was completely scary..and I don’t remember all the details I just remember standing there, speechless trying to talk but I couldn’t... finally things settled down...but they were going to put in a central line to be able to put in all the fluids and meds that he needs....
looking back on the whole thing I see how all these people came together and did their Job, but there were people who were also there to support the family..it was scary and I can’t say that enough..When we got to the room his blood pressures started to go up and since then he has been stable.....
I am in Awe at how God worked in this whole situation, I don’t know how to explain it or even the words.... but what I do know is that even though Anthony got so sick so fast...that God was ahead of the whole situation and placed people where they need to be in that whole controlled chaos…..
Tonight somehow my parents let me stay the night and didn’t kick me out of the house…but I am here with Anthony, watching and keeping a close eye on him..let me say he looks 100% better than he did this morning..he is a little out of it but he is resting and that is what he needs to get better… I know when we updated facebook people were praying, people from the blogs and people we don’t even know were praying…people may say that medical intervention saved Anthony’s life but he is doing so well tonight, I know God healed and was there with my family in the time of need.. I tried my best to act the best that I could. It’s not every day you see a code blue
When we Got Anthony a couple months later God gave me a verse and it rings true today as it did when I heard the verse:
God's voice thunders in marvelous ways;
he does great things beyond our understanding.
Job 37:5
he does great things beyond our understanding.
Job 37:5
Sunday, September 06, 2009
Perfect people
I love that song!! "Perfect People" and I can relate to it often... living in the urban city I have come across many different people of all cultures, Backgrounds, religions, profession.... I have been faced with sin, fallen short, and then I get back up..Often I wonder why I am still living in the city..I would love to leave the city and live in the country..live where there are people that look just like me..but then I realize that God has called us to be with the sick and hurting... he has called us to love on people no matter what they are going through..to be there and to share the Gospel....
Honestly today I am in a valley..I don't know where or what I will be doing next and I see no end in sight to the horrible nightmare...
But God has his promise..he reminds me that their are no such thing as a perfect people...we are to come to him just as we are..broken, shattered, drunk, high, depressed, hopeless, angry, addicted whatever we may be going through.....
Come to ME says the Father.... and I will give you rest...
I need to remind myself often that I need to come to him just as I am..I need to allow him to work in me and through me... it is not easy..but it is necessary... it is necessary to allow God to teach and be my comforter.. Today at church I had a sense of Comfort...Pastor asked us to close our eyes and imagine ourselves with God all safe and sound.... I pictured myself being held like a baby crying but still at peace...it is amazing to know that the God of the UNIVERSE cares enough to comfort and bring me peace... but most of to come to him Just as I am....broken
Honestly today I am in a valley..I don't know where or what I will be doing next and I see no end in sight to the horrible nightmare...
But God has his promise..he reminds me that their are no such thing as a perfect people...we are to come to him just as we are..broken, shattered, drunk, high, depressed, hopeless, angry, addicted whatever we may be going through.....
Come to ME says the Father.... and I will give you rest...
I need to remind myself often that I need to come to him just as I am..I need to allow him to work in me and through me... it is not easy..but it is necessary... it is necessary to allow God to teach and be my comforter.. Today at church I had a sense of Comfort...Pastor asked us to close our eyes and imagine ourselves with God all safe and sound.... I pictured myself being held like a baby crying but still at peace...it is amazing to know that the God of the UNIVERSE cares enough to comfort and bring me peace... but most of to come to him Just as I am....broken
Monday, August 24, 2009
Be still and Know...
Be still...
Lindsay, Rhonda, John, Debbie, various other people who are working on feisty's case
Be still
and know
that I
am God
Be still
and Know that I have a plan, even thought my plans are not always your plans... just know that I am God...
Be still
and know that even before the foundations of this earth where layed I knew what would happen to Mr, Feisty
Be Still
and have faith my Children I will not give you to much to handle.. call on me when you are weak...
Be still
for I have a plan...
Lindsay, Rhonda, John, Debbie, various other people who are working on feisty's case
Be still
and know
that I
am God
Be still
and Know that I have a plan, even thought my plans are not always your plans... just know that I am God...
Be still
and know that even before the foundations of this earth where layed I knew what would happen to Mr, Feisty
Be Still
and have faith my Children I will not give you to much to handle.. call on me when you are weak...
Be still
for I have a plan...
Saturday, August 22, 2009
Fire Proof
Honestly Fire proof was one of the best movies that I have EVER watched.. the power, message, and overall movie... I can see the power and purpose that God has for that movie.. my favorite part is the salvation scene where the main guy accepts Christ, every time I get CHILLS throughout my body.. it is incredible.. When I watched it, I was wondering why am I a single women watching this movie? why is it so important to watch this movie? it took me awhile to realize the power of watching and thinking about the concept of having a fireproof marriage, but also looking outside of the spectrum of marriage but how to fireproof your life, how to make a solid relationship in Christ.. one that cannot be shakin....
Today I attended a 20Th wedding renewal..and it was beautiful to see the couple and their love for each other.. so see their marriage fireproofed...strong, solid and loving the kind of kings..it was simply amazing!! to see the commitment between to couple... being married for 20 years today's is looked upon as impossible but it is not..it takes A LOT but it can happen...
even that I have not found my future Husband, If I have I just don't know it....but to be able to be committed to one person, to honor and to cherish that person in good times and in bad.. WOW... words are simple..but actions are not.. it takes a lot to remain fully committed..but God ordained marriage as commitment to not only Jesus that you will remain together for LIFE..but to God that as a couple look to the king of kings and lord of lords to lead and guide the married couple in their walk in life.. WOW... WOW..marriage is deep.. marriage is powerful..and to see people so in love after 20 years brought tears to my eyes...
I think of my parent who have been married for 21 year... and the walk that as a family we have gone through. it is not all glorious... there were many DEEP DEEP valleys.. times when who knows what was going to happen to their marriage.. but God can do miracles.. it is amazing that with each year my parents get older and they are married another year... how God continues to bless and provide for them.. to see that even though their were valleys, in the past they can still climb a mount an..and love each other just the same if not more.. as the day they were married...
marriage is powerful.. it can also be related in the walk we have with Jesus, the commitment, honor, Denying yourself before Christ, being willing to walk a life of faith, being persecuted because of your faith.. ETC.
After the ceremony I went up to one of the women and I said "I am so happy for them but it makes me sad to see them so in love and not have that someone..you know this is the 5th Wedding that I have known of in the past month..." she said something wise "I makes be sad but it makes me look forward to the times when I do get married to be able to honor and love that other person... in the same way that they do"... it is so true..
Waiting for that person is hard.. and it doesnt get any easier.. My roomate in college told me that when she turned 20 it got worst that wanting and feeling of kinding that special somebody.. and she was RIGHT.. so here I am waiting but serving God while I am waiting for that somebody.. waiting to get married.. waiting for the unknown..but I cant constantly wait.. I need to serve and please God with all that I have and all that I am.. I think that as I wait God will continue to guide me and lead me to the person I am supposed to be with, in good times and bad times..
According to my dad all I need to do is go to a christian book store and pinch someones Butt... and walalala... just kidding.. well it worked for my mom.. why not me?? haha...
Apologize
Its to late to Apologize, this song has been stuck in my head all week.. listening to to probably 50 times in the past 2 days.. not even kidding.. I kept pressing replay, as I was studying for finals..
it is a deep song.. I think why is hits suck a chord with me is that in so many ways, this year has been a year of loss and letting go of people in my life... so much drama and words that were spoken that in the end caused a friendship to end... the chords were cut.. the deed has been done.. no matter what is said or done.. I feel like at this point that it is to late to apologise.. we are all hurt in the situation.. I wont go into details much.. but I found out more information of what happened when the whole situation happened 5 months ago... and it hurts it stings...it has caused me to not talk to and loose friends over a situation that got way to out of hand.. sometimes it feels like it is to late to apologise... I feel like I have said sorry for my part and I did... but the other person hasn't.. it feels like it is always "My fault" in the situation that occurred.. I know that it is not only my fault.. at this point I feel so hurt that no matter if that person did apologise I couldn't forget them.... its to late...
but then I remember that no matter what I do as a person, when I kneel before the king of kings he forgives my sins..
in fact, Matthew chapter 6:14-15 states
"For if you forgive others their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you, but if you do not forgive others their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses."
Matt 6:14-15 (ESV)
but in order for Jesus to forgive me of my sins I must forgive the sins of my trespasser.. and you know how hard that is sometimes, to deny my human flesh... and forgive someone knowing that for some reason they don't forgive me.. but then I remember I do not need to worry about my enemy in fact I should pray for those who persecute me..
In Matthew chapter 5:44-48
But I say to you, Love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you, so that you may be sons of your Father who is in heaven. For he makes his sun rise on the evil and on the good, and sends rain on the just and on the unjust. For if you love those who love you, what reward do you have? Do not even the tax collectors do the same? And if you greet only your brothers, what more are you doing than others? Do not even the Gentiles do the same? You therefore must be perfect, as your heavenly Father is perfect.
Matt 5:44-48 (ESV)
This verse reminds me that I need to pray for those who persecute me, but what is even more powerful is when Jesus asked, If you love those who love you, what reward do you have? but do we gain from loving the people that are so easy to love and get along.. I thing of so many times where I as a human would rather love on the people that honestly I love the most... but what is hard is when those people become the people who persecute you... in Hebrews the writer writes about how this life is not going to be easy.. we are going to go through trials and tribulations.. we as Christians as we stand up for our faith... and beliefs will be persecuted..even by believers... but as a growing Christian I must and know that I need to forgive those people that have hurt me so deeply.. and I pray that I can and will..because in order for God to forgive me, I must forgive those who I need to still forgive..
This post is really random..but I have been thinking A LOT... I will have more post throughout the week and most likely the next month.because I will have a lot more free time to post.. ..
The steadfast love of the Lord never ceases;
his mercies never come to an end;
they are new every morning;
great is your faithfulness.
Lamentations 3:22-23 (ESV)
it is a deep song.. I think why is hits suck a chord with me is that in so many ways, this year has been a year of loss and letting go of people in my life... so much drama and words that were spoken that in the end caused a friendship to end... the chords were cut.. the deed has been done.. no matter what is said or done.. I feel like at this point that it is to late to apologise.. we are all hurt in the situation.. I wont go into details much.. but I found out more information of what happened when the whole situation happened 5 months ago... and it hurts it stings...it has caused me to not talk to and loose friends over a situation that got way to out of hand.. sometimes it feels like it is to late to apologise... I feel like I have said sorry for my part and I did... but the other person hasn't.. it feels like it is always "My fault" in the situation that occurred.. I know that it is not only my fault.. at this point I feel so hurt that no matter if that person did apologise I couldn't forget them.... its to late...
but then I remember that no matter what I do as a person, when I kneel before the king of kings he forgives my sins..
in fact, Matthew chapter 6:14-15 states
"For if you forgive others their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you, but if you do not forgive others their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses."
Matt 6:14-15 (ESV)
but in order for Jesus to forgive me of my sins I must forgive the sins of my trespasser.. and you know how hard that is sometimes, to deny my human flesh... and forgive someone knowing that for some reason they don't forgive me.. but then I remember I do not need to worry about my enemy in fact I should pray for those who persecute me..
In Matthew chapter 5:44-48
But I say to you, Love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you, so that you may be sons of your Father who is in heaven. For he makes his sun rise on the evil and on the good, and sends rain on the just and on the unjust. For if you love those who love you, what reward do you have? Do not even the tax collectors do the same? And if you greet only your brothers, what more are you doing than others? Do not even the Gentiles do the same? You therefore must be perfect, as your heavenly Father is perfect.
Matt 5:44-48 (ESV)
This verse reminds me that I need to pray for those who persecute me, but what is even more powerful is when Jesus asked, If you love those who love you, what reward do you have? but do we gain from loving the people that are so easy to love and get along.. I thing of so many times where I as a human would rather love on the people that honestly I love the most... but what is hard is when those people become the people who persecute you... in Hebrews the writer writes about how this life is not going to be easy.. we are going to go through trials and tribulations.. we as Christians as we stand up for our faith... and beliefs will be persecuted..even by believers... but as a growing Christian I must and know that I need to forgive those people that have hurt me so deeply.. and I pray that I can and will..because in order for God to forgive me, I must forgive those who I need to still forgive..
This post is really random..but I have been thinking A LOT... I will have more post throughout the week and most likely the next month.because I will have a lot more free time to post.. ..
The steadfast love of the Lord never ceases;
his mercies never come to an end;
they are new every morning;
great is your faithfulness.
Lamentations 3:22-23 (ESV)
Tonight I sing a new song, it is not to late to apologize and to forgive..
Monday, August 17, 2009
I HATE THIS
I just want Anthony to be better...
I Am sick and tired of being sick and tired..
I just want my brother to come home..
50 days in the hospital is a bit to long..
hopefully the Doctors can figure out what is wrong and ultimately the king of Kings can continue to heal his body.
Pray for me as this week is stressful.. I have finals.. and it is hard to stay focused when everything around me is falling apart. also for my parents that God can continue to give them strength and courage... as they make decisions as to what is best for their son..
I Am sick and tired of being sick and tired..
I just want my brother to come home..
50 days in the hospital is a bit to long..
hopefully the Doctors can figure out what is wrong and ultimately the king of Kings can continue to heal his body.
Pray for me as this week is stressful.. I have finals.. and it is hard to stay focused when everything around me is falling apart. also for my parents that God can continue to give them strength and courage... as they make decisions as to what is best for their son..
Wednesday, August 05, 2009
We are weak but he is strong
Every time that I get to visit Anthony the one song that we sing is "Jesus loves me" we sing a new version and I have sung to to him probably 200 time over and over..and without a doubt he falls asleep..
Today I was holding Anthony, and he finally got comfortable and as I was singing this song I sung "Little ones to him belong they are weak but he is strong" and I paused.... as I was holding Anthony I realized how true this is for Anthony and for my whole family.. to be able to hold my brother and know that God is doing a great work in his body...brings me to my knees in tears... in blesses me and leaves me breathless to see what God is doing in Anthony's life..
we are weak but he is Strong!!!
God is able to do more than we can ever thought was possible...
In the same way, the Spirit helps us in our weakness. We do not know what we ought to pray for, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us with groans that words cannot express.
Romans 8:26
Today I was holding Anthony, and he finally got comfortable and as I was singing this song I sung "Little ones to him belong they are weak but he is strong" and I paused.... as I was holding Anthony I realized how true this is for Anthony and for my whole family.. to be able to hold my brother and know that God is doing a great work in his body...brings me to my knees in tears... in blesses me and leaves me breathless to see what God is doing in Anthony's life..
we are weak but he is Strong!!!
God is able to do more than we can ever thought was possible...
In the same way, the Spirit helps us in our weakness. We do not know what we ought to pray for, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us with groans that words cannot express.
Romans 8:26
Friday, July 31, 2009
Dear Mr Sun
Dear Mr, Sun-
Thank you for not allowing Seattle to go over 90 degree's today... what a relief that is... and I always thought I loved you mister sun but this past week you have broken records and I live in Seattle for a reason, I love the clouds and rain... so Mr, Sun I would be happy if you could go away..
Thanks in advanced,
Lindsay
Thank you for not allowing Seattle to go over 90 degree's today... what a relief that is... and I always thought I loved you mister sun but this past week you have broken records and I live in Seattle for a reason, I love the clouds and rain... so Mr, Sun I would be happy if you could go away..
Thanks in advanced,
Lindsay
Saturday, July 25, 2009
Update
Life has been completely crazy..
School has been alot of work lately, and I feel like I never have enough time to do my school work..
I simply miss my little brother, seeing Anthony only 6 hours a week is hard knowing that he is in the hospital is hard... this past Thursday Anthony got his transplant.. and it was probably one of the most amazing things I have witnessed... it took only 10 minutes to put the blood-cord cells into his little body.. but just imagining what those cells are going to offer Anthony in the future is so unreal.. those cells give him a future and cure him of his HLH and give him a chance to live life..
yes this week has been hard, yes everyone has cred out to God asking for pain relief for Anthony... yes we would all love to be a family and for all of us to be in the same house rather than have to be at the Hospital...
But God has a plan and knows what he is doing.. and for right now we are making it....
Friday, July 10, 2009
Dear EV,
I remember 5 years ago the first time that I met you, I was 15 and you were 16, we were young Counselors in Training, learning how to serve God at a Christian camp.. that first summer we got close, we would often find ourselves talking about life, dreaming about the future, and talking about all the wonderful things God was doing in our life's.
that first summer 5 years ago started a friendship that I had been praying for my whole freshman year of high school. It was unbelievable how much we grew and learned from each other. the best night we had was our poppet night, you were hiding away in a closet, but we were not going to allow you to do that, so somehow we ended up dancing around decorating the Abbott house with Toilet paper, running across camp to serenade people with our "beautiful tribal dancing"..
when my Uncle passed away I remember that you were there to greet me with a Hug and a welcome back... I remember running down the hill singing songs of Praise with you, in a time were deep down inside I was crying and struggling with the recent death of my uncle...
when summer ended for some reason, I decided to invite you to my 16th birthday, we went and created beautiful bead bracelets and went to the aquarium, where we only paid the children's price because the teller thought you were under twelve, we laughed and moved on.... we walked through the whole aquarium laughing and just being us... Teenagers... that night you ended up staying the night at my house.. it was amazing, just like it was at camp... we climbed up in a tree house that night, talking about our futures and what we desired in a future Husband... what we were learning at school.. I remember just talking... and having peace in that moment...
throughout that first year we continued to talk, we went to High school camp together, were we prayed and had one of the most intense talks that we would probably ever have, I remember we were sitting at the stairs of the prayer Chapel, it was cold and Chilly.. the stars were shining.... in that moment you shared with me your salvation story, I cried with tears and compassion because I felt for you, for once I knew what it was like to have that one true friend who shared the same passion and love for God, as I myself had..
Time went on, we continued to grow in our friendship, we had many times of joy and sorrow, times were we didn't agree.. times were we were indifferent.. but that didn't matter... we promised that no matter what would happen in the future we would "Always be friends"... that God could work through any situation.. we talked about how in the future our children would grow up together.. we talked about going on missions trips together, serving God, and many things that young girls like to talk about..
Time continued to go, the third summer came and I went on a missions trip to Thailand, you graduated and were getting ready to go to college... we drew apart that summer and ever since then nothing has been the same, the way we saw the world was different but the one thing that remained the same was Jesus, he was the one thing we could agree on.. you went to college and we rarely talked.. I was sad but I knew you needed to experience college, we didn't talk for about 9 months.. if we did it was for about 5 minutes...
that continued and the 4th summer came, you came to watch my brothers.. during that time we started talked and re-connecting it almost was like old times but sooo much different.. it was so nice to re-connect and know that maybe things had not changed as much as I thought they had.... little did I know everything that I thought and knew about you was different.. I didn't know my friend.. she had changed into a completely different person... it scared me.. I fell to my knees and begun praying for you.. I pleaded to God that you would seek him in your situation... I believe that God found you where you were at.. in your time of need.. I am not saying I am perfect, but I am saying that I pleaded and prayed for you like no other time in our time of knowing each other at that point in time...
looking back at the past five years I remember the many times we spent laughing, praying, playing, seeking God, discussing about our futures... and I will never forget that.. how can I? the way you see things have changed the way you see things and the way I see things have changed..
I am praying for you right now, this very moment that you would continue to seek God, and that he will show you his will for your life.. we can never take back the past, the miscommunication, the lies, deceit, the time alcohol was used and destroyed a friendship, the time you stomped out the door angry, the time you drove off in your car and I knew that would be the last time I ever saw you... none of that E, can never be erased, but God can heal, he can heal you as you begin this journey that you are beginning at 2pm tomorrow... of getting married...
I never doubted the fact that you were going to get married to Him, in fact I was scared to the fact that I didn't see everything the way that you saw it.. I didn't see him the way you did, I saw the details, the faults, all the ways that this relationship could end up because honestly I didn't see the beauty and love that you did, I prayed many times, I pleaded that God could show me what you saw in him, I asked for peace in your upcoming marriage but overtime I thought of it, and I got an ache in my stomach telling me that something about this relationship that you were in was not right.. I saw comparisons of him and the one person you despised the most... finally it got to much to bare, you know what happened at the engagement party ( my point of view and yours is probably different, but there are facts of what happened and of which I will not discuss on a public blog)... and that threw me over the top I was honestly scarred for you and your future that finally I had to speak to what I saw....
with that you got angry, I got upset, you stormed out.. and every word that I said would be turned around and twisted... I was stuck between a brick wall and a rock.. but at least I let you know what I saw... I felt free in allowing myself to tell you what I saw..
I realize that tonight is most likely the night before you wedding, and I am not going... I am not going to show up and crash it, I will not show up and yell "I object"... In fact I am holding myself back from contacting you at all.. someone I know once said that tough love is the hardest, it is sometimes walking away from situations where we human want to have control, we would love to show up in a Gorilla suit, but rather let go and fall to our knee's in prayer and lift the situation up to God... Tough love is the hardest love and I can attest to that.. and with that, I am choosing to let go and fully rely on God to protect you, relying on God to direct your path... although the amazing memory's we shared together will never be shared again, no one can take away the good times we had... with that I let go of you, I give our "Friendship" to God, maybe in the future we can communicate, but for now I wait with expectation of knowing that God is God and in the end, his will is the perfect will, no matter what the differences are..
and with that, I just wanted to say.... I miss you
Love,
Lindsay
that first summer 5 years ago started a friendship that I had been praying for my whole freshman year of high school. It was unbelievable how much we grew and learned from each other. the best night we had was our poppet night, you were hiding away in a closet, but we were not going to allow you to do that, so somehow we ended up dancing around decorating the Abbott house with Toilet paper, running across camp to serenade people with our "beautiful tribal dancing"..
when my Uncle passed away I remember that you were there to greet me with a Hug and a welcome back... I remember running down the hill singing songs of Praise with you, in a time were deep down inside I was crying and struggling with the recent death of my uncle...
when summer ended for some reason, I decided to invite you to my 16th birthday, we went and created beautiful bead bracelets and went to the aquarium, where we only paid the children's price because the teller thought you were under twelve, we laughed and moved on.... we walked through the whole aquarium laughing and just being us... Teenagers... that night you ended up staying the night at my house.. it was amazing, just like it was at camp... we climbed up in a tree house that night, talking about our futures and what we desired in a future Husband... what we were learning at school.. I remember just talking... and having peace in that moment...
throughout that first year we continued to talk, we went to High school camp together, were we prayed and had one of the most intense talks that we would probably ever have, I remember we were sitting at the stairs of the prayer Chapel, it was cold and Chilly.. the stars were shining.... in that moment you shared with me your salvation story, I cried with tears and compassion because I felt for you, for once I knew what it was like to have that one true friend who shared the same passion and love for God, as I myself had..
Time went on, we continued to grow in our friendship, we had many times of joy and sorrow, times were we didn't agree.. times were we were indifferent.. but that didn't matter... we promised that no matter what would happen in the future we would "Always be friends"... that God could work through any situation.. we talked about how in the future our children would grow up together.. we talked about going on missions trips together, serving God, and many things that young girls like to talk about..
Time continued to go, the third summer came and I went on a missions trip to Thailand, you graduated and were getting ready to go to college... we drew apart that summer and ever since then nothing has been the same, the way we saw the world was different but the one thing that remained the same was Jesus, he was the one thing we could agree on.. you went to college and we rarely talked.. I was sad but I knew you needed to experience college, we didn't talk for about 9 months.. if we did it was for about 5 minutes...
that continued and the 4th summer came, you came to watch my brothers.. during that time we started talked and re-connecting it almost was like old times but sooo much different.. it was so nice to re-connect and know that maybe things had not changed as much as I thought they had.... little did I know everything that I thought and knew about you was different.. I didn't know my friend.. she had changed into a completely different person... it scared me.. I fell to my knees and begun praying for you.. I pleaded to God that you would seek him in your situation... I believe that God found you where you were at.. in your time of need.. I am not saying I am perfect, but I am saying that I pleaded and prayed for you like no other time in our time of knowing each other at that point in time...
looking back at the past five years I remember the many times we spent laughing, praying, playing, seeking God, discussing about our futures... and I will never forget that.. how can I? the way you see things have changed the way you see things and the way I see things have changed..
I am praying for you right now, this very moment that you would continue to seek God, and that he will show you his will for your life.. we can never take back the past, the miscommunication, the lies, deceit, the time alcohol was used and destroyed a friendship, the time you stomped out the door angry, the time you drove off in your car and I knew that would be the last time I ever saw you... none of that E, can never be erased, but God can heal, he can heal you as you begin this journey that you are beginning at 2pm tomorrow... of getting married...
I never doubted the fact that you were going to get married to Him, in fact I was scared to the fact that I didn't see everything the way that you saw it.. I didn't see him the way you did, I saw the details, the faults, all the ways that this relationship could end up because honestly I didn't see the beauty and love that you did, I prayed many times, I pleaded that God could show me what you saw in him, I asked for peace in your upcoming marriage but overtime I thought of it, and I got an ache in my stomach telling me that something about this relationship that you were in was not right.. I saw comparisons of him and the one person you despised the most... finally it got to much to bare, you know what happened at the engagement party ( my point of view and yours is probably different, but there are facts of what happened and of which I will not discuss on a public blog)... and that threw me over the top I was honestly scarred for you and your future that finally I had to speak to what I saw....
with that you got angry, I got upset, you stormed out.. and every word that I said would be turned around and twisted... I was stuck between a brick wall and a rock.. but at least I let you know what I saw... I felt free in allowing myself to tell you what I saw..
I realize that tonight is most likely the night before you wedding, and I am not going... I am not going to show up and crash it, I will not show up and yell "I object"... In fact I am holding myself back from contacting you at all.. someone I know once said that tough love is the hardest, it is sometimes walking away from situations where we human want to have control, we would love to show up in a Gorilla suit, but rather let go and fall to our knee's in prayer and lift the situation up to God... Tough love is the hardest love and I can attest to that.. and with that, I am choosing to let go and fully rely on God to protect you, relying on God to direct your path... although the amazing memory's we shared together will never be shared again, no one can take away the good times we had... with that I let go of you, I give our "Friendship" to God, maybe in the future we can communicate, but for now I wait with expectation of knowing that God is God and in the end, his will is the perfect will, no matter what the differences are..
and with that, I just wanted to say.... I miss you
Love,
Lindsay
Tuesday, June 09, 2009
All I have to say...
is that I made it through another year as a college student!!
it is not always easy staying up late, reading one of the million books that I need to be reading, feeling like my eyes are going to fall out of my head, writing papers, getting up early, riding the bus in the morning..
But for some reason, I love it!!
I love the opportunity of getting a education, I love that God has provided all of my needs... throughout these past two years.
I know that even after I graduate...he will keep providing and showing me what he has called me to do...
All I know is I MADE IT!!!!!!
and I can proudly say that I am a Junior at the University of Washington!!!!
(I feel so old saying that..hehe)
it is not always easy staying up late, reading one of the million books that I need to be reading, feeling like my eyes are going to fall out of my head, writing papers, getting up early, riding the bus in the morning..
But for some reason, I love it!!
I love the opportunity of getting a education, I love that God has provided all of my needs... throughout these past two years.
I know that even after I graduate...he will keep providing and showing me what he has called me to do...
All I know is I MADE IT!!!!!!
and I can proudly say that I am a Junior at the University of Washington!!!!
(I feel so old saying that..hehe)
Sunday, May 17, 2009
Rise up
This week, little Kayleigh Anne Freeman passed away, when I found out my heart was broken, I was really sad for her parents.. I don't know them but I was so touched by their story.. it really got me thinking about how life is really short, we don't know when we are going to die..
I kept thinking to myself, "what can I do to honor you God, can you please use me today to bless other and tell them about you.. can you please give me strength and courage to be able to stand up and tell others for you... Kayleigh has been so brave for 11 months...this life is short.. I cant just keep walking my life knowing that I am saved and not tell people about you.. I NEED TO DO SOMETHING.. I want to honor you God, please present me with an opportunity"
and that is all I prayed...
little did I know that God would present me with an opportunity.. their was a Evangelical preacher presenting the word at my school, I usually ignore them and walk on..but I was so drawn to the truth and words that he was saying..I stopped thinking oh, I will only be here for 5 minutes, but that day I stayed for 2 hour talking with people about Jesus, presenting the truth to them, praying and crying for this Generation of young people who have turned their eyes away from Jesus.. I was blessed it was tiring and hard to be sharing the gospel..but I for the first time had courage like little Kayleigh..
I sat there quite for so long, finally my body begun to shake, and I could not keep quite about the love of Jesus.. I eventually went back the next day and met with more people, met some AWESOME Christians and it was really good to talk with other people..
then Friday came along by this time I found brother Jeb on the Internet and was e-mailing him back and forth, and so I planned on staying at school all day like from 11:30-5:30 and I did.. it was AMAZING to see God at work.... and their was a spiritual battle going on at my University... but God gave me the words to say, he gave me a sense of peace..and to just simple love on people like Jesus loved on his disciples when he was here.. their were other Christians there who were talking to people and stayed all day..
overall I am still in complete shock at all that has happened this week, I always wanted to talk to people about Jesus but I never knew that I would be doing it..
When I was in Thailand it was so easy to talk to the Thai people about Jesus, even though there was a language barrier somehow it was easier..and I was afraid simply to stand up for what I believe in..
but not any longer.. I feel strong, I am amazing at God and the wonderful work that he has done in my life, he opened my eyes and showed me that people all around me are searching for meaning of life, searching for a God who loves you..
The eyes of the non-believers I could see that they were searching..but were so blinded to the truth... the Devil is still at work here on earth and we need to not forget that..we as Christians need to get off our couches and tell others about Jesus, people are perishing without ever hearing the love of Jesus.. American Christians are so stuck on going to church and keeping our God within our community of believers... yes that is important but yet we need to not be only with believers and building relationships with non-believers..
People are searching and trying to figure out why they are not complete, and it is because they do not have Jesus, they may not know that and need to be told....
what if we all stood up for what we believed in and told people about Jesus, how much of an impact that would make?
God is good!!!!
Just from that little prayer I said this week, God used me in ways that I can not even begin to comprehend......... the courage I had to take a stand was not from me... it was From God....... I am glad to know a God who loves me so much that died on the cross for my sins and for the sins of the world.. and the people of the world need to hear the truth....
can we rise up as Christians and proclaim the good news?
Lindsay
I kept thinking to myself, "what can I do to honor you God, can you please use me today to bless other and tell them about you.. can you please give me strength and courage to be able to stand up and tell others for you... Kayleigh has been so brave for 11 months...this life is short.. I cant just keep walking my life knowing that I am saved and not tell people about you.. I NEED TO DO SOMETHING.. I want to honor you God, please present me with an opportunity"
and that is all I prayed...
little did I know that God would present me with an opportunity.. their was a Evangelical preacher presenting the word at my school, I usually ignore them and walk on..but I was so drawn to the truth and words that he was saying..I stopped thinking oh, I will only be here for 5 minutes, but that day I stayed for 2 hour talking with people about Jesus, presenting the truth to them, praying and crying for this Generation of young people who have turned their eyes away from Jesus.. I was blessed it was tiring and hard to be sharing the gospel..but I for the first time had courage like little Kayleigh..
I sat there quite for so long, finally my body begun to shake, and I could not keep quite about the love of Jesus.. I eventually went back the next day and met with more people, met some AWESOME Christians and it was really good to talk with other people..
then Friday came along by this time I found brother Jeb on the Internet and was e-mailing him back and forth, and so I planned on staying at school all day like from 11:30-5:30 and I did.. it was AMAZING to see God at work.... and their was a spiritual battle going on at my University... but God gave me the words to say, he gave me a sense of peace..and to just simple love on people like Jesus loved on his disciples when he was here.. their were other Christians there who were talking to people and stayed all day..
overall I am still in complete shock at all that has happened this week, I always wanted to talk to people about Jesus but I never knew that I would be doing it..
When I was in Thailand it was so easy to talk to the Thai people about Jesus, even though there was a language barrier somehow it was easier..and I was afraid simply to stand up for what I believe in..
but not any longer.. I feel strong, I am amazing at God and the wonderful work that he has done in my life, he opened my eyes and showed me that people all around me are searching for meaning of life, searching for a God who loves you..
The eyes of the non-believers I could see that they were searching..but were so blinded to the truth... the Devil is still at work here on earth and we need to not forget that..we as Christians need to get off our couches and tell others about Jesus, people are perishing without ever hearing the love of Jesus.. American Christians are so stuck on going to church and keeping our God within our community of believers... yes that is important but yet we need to not be only with believers and building relationships with non-believers..
People are searching and trying to figure out why they are not complete, and it is because they do not have Jesus, they may not know that and need to be told....
what if we all stood up for what we believed in and told people about Jesus, how much of an impact that would make?
God is good!!!!
Just from that little prayer I said this week, God used me in ways that I can not even begin to comprehend......... the courage I had to take a stand was not from me... it was From God....... I am glad to know a God who loves me so much that died on the cross for my sins and for the sins of the world.. and the people of the world need to hear the truth....
can we rise up as Christians and proclaim the good news?
Lindsay
Sunday, May 03, 2009
He is still here....
And this Rainbow reminds me that God is still here on earth performing miracles, working in the lives's of his children, healing, giving his people vision,...
he has not forsaken us..
he is still here...
his presence can still be soon on earth thousands of years later!
Saturday, May 02, 2009
hot coco delight
Mr, feisty has been really sick this past week and has not wanted to eat.. the little man is already tiny for his size.
so tonight I was cleaning up the kitchen and helping feisty eat his unwanted dinner.. finally he ate enough and I asked Charlie if he wanted hot coco, which is an all time favorite... and Feisty starting shouting "hooot coococooo, Hot Cocooooo" and so I asked him if he wanted some and of course he shouted "Ummm YEA"....
little did he know that he was getting a hot coco delight!!
so how do you make hot coco delight??
A little of this:
mix it up in this,
and he drank it all... I am learning young, when the babe's are sick..you give what they want but you add in other unknown nutrients that he does not know he is drinking!!
so tonight I was cleaning up the kitchen and helping feisty eat his unwanted dinner.. finally he ate enough and I asked Charlie if he wanted hot coco, which is an all time favorite... and Feisty starting shouting "hooot coococooo, Hot Cocooooo" and so I asked him if he wanted some and of course he shouted "Ummm YEA"....
little did he know that he was getting a hot coco delight!!
so how do you make hot coco delight??
A little of this:
with a little bit of this:
Heat up the water,then you top it off with a little extra of this:
mix it up in this,
and
and he drank it all... I am learning young, when the babe's are sick..you give what they want but you add in other unknown nutrients that he does not know he is drinking!!
Friday, May 01, 2009
Time,
wow does time fly!!
what have I been up to lately?
-Studying
-visiting the hospital
-reading LOTS!!
-listening to God
-playing with my younger brothers
-changing diapers
-walking around Seattle
-enjoying the rain and the sunshine
-preparing myself mentally for Anthony's Transplant
-taking lots of photo's
-volunteering at my old youth group every Thursday
-and most of all, spending quality time with the one's that I love! and wishing that Anthony and my mom could come home! that are being held hostage by the doctors. they don't want to send him home until Feisty's fever goes away....
oh and I have a secret... (My parents might get to adopt feisty sooner than what they think).... if that is what God has planned!!
I am going to get better at blogging but this quarter has presented me with lot and lots of reading...and not time to blog.. :(.. I miss blogging..
I was looking back at some of my old post and it is amazing to think that I have had this blog for as long as I have!!
Time.. Cherish it... because you never know what is going to happen in two seconds, 1 month or 5 years...
what have I been up to lately?
-Studying
-visiting the hospital
-reading LOTS!!
-listening to God
-playing with my younger brothers
-changing diapers
-walking around Seattle
-enjoying the rain and the sunshine
-preparing myself mentally for Anthony's Transplant
-taking lots of photo's
-volunteering at my old youth group every Thursday
-and most of all, spending quality time with the one's that I love! and wishing that Anthony and my mom could come home! that are being held hostage by the doctors. they don't want to send him home until Feisty's fever goes away....
oh and I have a secret... (My parents might get to adopt feisty sooner than what they think).... if that is what God has planned!!
I am going to get better at blogging but this quarter has presented me with lot and lots of reading...and not time to blog.. :(.. I miss blogging..
I was looking back at some of my old post and it is amazing to think that I have had this blog for as long as I have!!
Time.. Cherish it... because you never know what is going to happen in two seconds, 1 month or 5 years...
Friday, April 03, 2009
It is amazing how time does fly! it amazes me that two years ago this year, I was a graduating senior.. This past week as I walked my college campus with a renewed sense, as to why I am on this Journey of obtaining a higher education..
It has not by any means been the easiest years of my life, I have taken what God has blessed me with, A full ride scholarship, and not really used the gift that he has given me to my full potential.... you see, I never thought I, Lindsay James, would be going to the University of Washington... I never thought I would get in.. I never thought that it was even possible for me to get in..and everyone around me was telling me I would never get in.... I remember two years ago this time of the year........
I had all my applications to the five colleges that I had applied to.. four of them were private Christian colleges and one a public state university. I did not want to go to a public university.. I desired to grow closer to God, by going to a University that taught about God and I could stretch my learning.. I got accepted in all 4 private colleges......but I still did not know if I got into the UW... I didn't want to go when I applied to to college...... let me tell you.. I DID NOT WANT TO GO....even though I almost said yes, to one of the private colleges something told me not to and just wait... So one of the few times in my life I waited....
It has not by any means been the easiest years of my life, I have taken what God has blessed me with, A full ride scholarship, and not really used the gift that he has given me to my full potential.... you see, I never thought I, Lindsay James, would be going to the University of Washington... I never thought I would get in.. I never thought that it was even possible for me to get in..and everyone around me was telling me I would never get in.... I remember two years ago this time of the year........
I had all my applications to the five colleges that I had applied to.. four of them were private Christian colleges and one a public state university. I did not want to go to a public university.. I desired to grow closer to God, by going to a University that taught about God and I could stretch my learning.. I got accepted in all 4 private colleges......but I still did not know if I got into the UW... I didn't want to go when I applied to to college...... let me tell you.. I DID NOT WANT TO GO....even though I almost said yes, to one of the private colleges something told me not to and just wait... So one of the few times in my life I waited....
I remember the day so clearly, I was sitting with my friend in the lunch room talking, when my mom called me and said that I finally got a response from the University of Washington.. I told her I didn't want her to open it, but all of a sudden I wanted her to.. so she did, and she began to read the words " You have been accepted"... and I cheered.. for some reason I felt relieved.. I knew at that moment I was supposed to go there... I don't know what changed my heart..and told me to go there...
I talked my dad into letting me go on a visit to UW.. so we spent a long day in April of 2007, wondering around UW aimlessly, attending classes, eating the food, being with the people, experiencing the culture, and knowing that I was meant to be there.... scared as heck to go to such a huge University... But I listened to my heart...and announced to all my friends and Family that I was going to the UW!!!!
And after going to this university for almost 2 years, it has taken me this long to really be grateful to be able to go there, I love it, studying all the time, reading books, attending the classes, staying up late, walking the Ave (A place that has a lot of different food places and stores), being with 40,000 other people who are walking the same journey as I am, riding the buses, meeting new people, seeing Gods creation, drinking coffee, registering for classes online at 5:55 AM, fighting for classes, wandering around the University book store looking for the text book, eating Tator tots from by George cafe, walking around campus getting lost, seeing the Cherry tree blossom every spring, sitting on the grass studying, waiting in the lines for hours during lunch time for hours just to get a subway sand which, running into people you haven't seen in a long time.. it is all apart of the college life....
This summer, I am going to make up the credits that I need in order to apply to my major this fall and be able to graduate on time.... it is a hard decision to make, but I know it is the best one for me at this time.. although I would rather work at a summer camp with amazing kids..... I need to be in school taking care of myself, ensuring that I can do what is best for myself and for my future... Pray for me as I attend college this summer, that I do not grow tired and that next school year I can go full force and not grow tired from going 2 strait years without a big break in between...
Thursday, March 26, 2009
Although this week started out roughly it has allowed me time to spend more quite time with my Jesus, to Pray, to read his word..and to reflect on all that has happen....and sort my way through this mess.. tonight I feel surrounded by God..I feel free and able to let go of someone that I have been close to for the past 6 years..there is nothing that I can do but pray that God can have his will in this situation...and that is all I can do..and honestly it feels great to know that I am not alone and I have a God who cares so much to love me even when I make mistakes and to teach me life lessons about friendships... and he is the ultimate friend, he is all I need in this life to make it through..he has already won and defeated my battles for me..
He died on the cross for my sins and for the sins of all many...
and that is all I need to be reminded of when my world feels like it is falling apart, it is all I need to be reminded of when I out of place, when I am angry, when I am crushed, when I need to let go of someone that I love.. when I need to trust that everything will work out for the good... and a miracle will happen out of this mess...
But again I remember,
He died on the cross for my sins and for the sins of many...
and that is all I need
He died on the cross for my sins and for the sins of all many...
and that is all I need to be reminded of when my world feels like it is falling apart, it is all I need to be reminded of when I out of place, when I am angry, when I am crushed, when I need to let go of someone that I love.. when I need to trust that everything will work out for the good... and a miracle will happen out of this mess...
But again I remember,
He died on the cross for my sins and for the sins of many...
and that is all I need
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